No Snow

(© 2009 Jen Tucker)

I can't lie.  I was really looking forward to a snow day.  We don't get them very often here in Oklahoma.  It's one of those rare delights that show up every 4 or 5 years.  Sometimes it takes even longer.  So when there is a serious chance of one, I get excited.  Why, you ask?

Snow days mean creativity peaks.  There is something magical about snow.  It has a creative energy to it for me.  Much like thunderstorm days in the spring and the height of summer.  There is a magic energy there.

So, when I get a snow day, it means a super productive creative explosion will come about.  The day flips.  I  sleep in, get up, eat, bathe, and start.  Somewhere around 3 AM, I step outside for a break to utter silence and the smell of a white blanketed earth.  The snow reflects light in a very unique way that absolutely nothing else does.

The feel of creative exhaustion is a wonderful feeling.  Unlike the exhaustion of the J-O-B, which just continues to try and break my soul.  So, yeah, I wanted that snow day.  I needed it.  All our funds have completely dried up and it looks as though there will be no MAY trip to Spectrum or KCMO after all.  I have yet to scrape together enough to get the dog her annual shots.  So, again, yeah, I really wanted/needed that snow day.

I didn't get it.  The snow gods forsake me.  However, we did get to go home at 1:30 PM yesterday.   Even the chance that we could get a snow day elicited creativity from me. I created.  I tried something new.  I let the art just take me on it's own journey.  Sadly, I didn't start until 8 PM.  I stayed up far too late and today...I'm exhausted and a little miffed about not getting my snow day.  At the same time, I'm a little excited.   Enough creative energy came about that I did something that inspired more from me.

Let's hope that continues.  And maybe, just maybe, that wasn't the last chance this Winter for a Snow day.

(© 2009 Jen Tucker)

Star Wars is Forever.

I can't tell you how excited I was when I heard about this.

I love the Science Museum, but I can't handle the stress and noise level when their are hundreds of children set loose inside.  Having this for people 21 and up was an awesome idea!

Star Wars at the Science Museum!  

Let me tell you a little story from my childhood.  A memory that I will never forget.  In 1983, my Mom and Dad took us to Ada, OK to see the final Star Wars movie, Return of the Jedi.  I'm pretty sure it was opening weekend or maybe the second weekend.  We didn't go to the movies often, but we had managed to make it to see the other two Star Wars films.  I was three when I saw the first one.

This was the last one though.  Everything had said so.  I knew that going in, but in my heart I didn't want it to be the end of Star Wars.  You see, since I was three, I had come to absolutely love Star Wars.  I had decided that I would indeed grow up to be a Jedi Knight and take the last name of Skywalker.

I was going to learn to use the Force.

So the thought of all of this ending...well, honestly it broke my heart.  Still, I was excited.  Nervous and excited.  I absolutely adored Luke Skywalker.  He was my first crush.  I was so worried he might meet his end in this movie.

We stood in line for a while and then into the theater.  No one gave away anything in line.  I remember being impressed seeing Luke in all black and so confident.  I was worried he might be too confident.

I remember thinking that Princess Leia was so brave to dress as a bounty hunter and how cool it was that she saved Han and not the other way around.

I remember my brother crying out when Boba Fett met his demise.

Most of all though, I remember how hard I cried when Darth Vader picked up the Emperor and tossed him into the abyss.  I remember I kept crying when Luke took off his mask.  And cried even harder when he lit the pyre.  And when I thought I couldn't cry any harder, I did as the credits rolled and I realized it was truly really all over.

This might be when I realized things end.  Everything eventually ends.  

Little did I know that Star Wars wouldn't.  If I traveled back in time and told 9 year old me, that one day, in 2013, I would attend a cool Star Wars Science Museum event with my smoking hot soulmate who also totally digs Star Wars and loves me for who I am,  and that Star Wars would only get bigger and better, I wouldn't have believed it.

Well, maybe I would've.  I believed anything was possible at that age.  I sort of still do.

Still, sometimes I think about that moment.  How very sad 9 year old me was.  I mourned for months.  I continued making stories when I played with my figures.  Sometimes though, you just don't know.  You can't know, what the future will bring.  I wasn't the only 9 year old kid who didn't want it to end.  I wasn't the only one determined in my heart to make sure it continued.  Nope, there were so many of us, that we just kept it going.  We wrote novels about it.  Comics. Created art about it.  Some of us became Scientists that would go on to try and recreated that prosthetic hand Luke had.  Some of us engineers, determined to create a real droid or even a lightsaber.

Humans can be amazing.  We have the power to keep things alive and to do so much good.  To make the future into a beautiful amazing thing.  It doesn't have to be this dystopic, broken sad thing we keep being shown.  It can be full of science and technology and droids and x-wings and lightsabers if we want it to.

Star Wars is forever.  If we want it to be.

May the Force Be With you...Always.

Pony Patches!

Have a hoodie or a shirt or a blanket that you think would be perfect with your favorite My Little Pony's cutie mark stuck on it?  

You are in luck!

Entertainment Earth has all the popular pony cutie marks!

Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinky Pie, and more!

$3.99 each.

Star Wars Pinball

Playstation has announced the forthcoming Star Wars Pinball on the PS3 and Vita.



The title will come with several different boards from all your favorite Star Wars moments!

Check out the site here: Star Wars Pinball

Traveling is Tough

I love to travel.  I love being places and seeing things.  I love visiting friends.

I don't, however, have money to do that very often.

Every month we have about $100 left over.  That $100 is saved up to go into the emergency fund.

We have about 3 to 5 emergencies a year.

The air conditioner guy and the plumber had to be called last year. 

$1000 gone.

The dog went to the vet at least 3 to 4 times last year.

Kiss another $500  to $700 good-bye.

I had an MRI.  $600 AFTER insurance.

Having money to travel rarely happens.  It has to be well planned and something has to be

sacrificed.

We sold T's car to go to Burbank this year.

Next up is Kansas City in May.  This is a two-fer.  

We get to visit our friend Cindy as well as getting more insightful 

career instruction and advice.

I get to mingle with my peeps.  Art peeps.

It's nice having friends in places that have events that happen.

It's nice having events where friends are.

I hope all my friends understand that I would love to come see them 

every day if I could, but with our jobs and the ridiculous amount we are paid

it isn't an option for us.

We have to be very careful and very picky about where we go when.

One trip too many and when the washing machine goes out,

we will be wearing stinky clothes for months.

The dream is to one day break free of these ball and chain jobs we have

and work for ourselves, allowing us to travel and work as we do.

Visiting on our time.

Until then though, we go when we can, where we can.

If we can hit a two-fer, it feels like a bonus to us!

I can't tell you how much I love the 

Kansas City Trip.

Have You Met Chicken?

I wrote a Children's Picture Book.  

I wrote it like 10 years ago.

It's been sitting in my file cabinet with 5 other Children's stories.

THIS is part of my CREATE goal this year.

Chicken is going to make it out into the world.

Amazon will most likely get my story, so get your $2.99 ready.

Right now I am working page by page digitally cleaning up the illustrations

that I sketched out for it.  Testing fonts.  Colors.

I'm having fun and really happy with the way it looks.

Stay tuned for ways to purchase your copy of "Chicken".

Sideshow Snowtrooper

New $150.00 1/6 scale fully articulated Snowtrooper from Sideshow Collectibles.

It doesn't look right to me for some reason.

I'm not sure what it is.  Still, if it doesn't bother you, go grab one!  

Learning Lessons and Xena Con again!

Heya peeps!  It's Friday.  My favorite day as long as I'm still looking for my real life.

Well, we made it back to Xena Con.  Ha!  I would've never guessed that would happen.  Seriously.  We had just come off the worst year of both of our lives.  I seriously thought we had made it 15 and that was it.  Stuff happened last year that was so out of character for both of us that we began to barely recognize each other.  It was scary bad.

Our friends were rooting for us, but I tell ya, neither of us were.  I thought the world had crumbled and that some weird alternate dark miserable universe came and replaced my sunshiney one.

Turns out we learned a lot.  We learned that we had never mourned together.  Ever.  I've lost family and so has T, but we had never lost immediate family.  People that meant exactly the same to both of us.  When T lost her Grandpa, I was sad, but I was there for her.  When I lost my Grandma Tucker, T was sad, but she was there for me.

Last year, when we lost Chris, neither of us had any idea how to deal.  I felt guilty for telling her he would be okay.  It felt like I lied to her.  It was mostly to convince myself, but I didn't want her to worry.

Of course Chris didn't want us to worry, so he didn't really let us know he knew he was going to die.

I gotta say, I disagree with his decision, but I get it. 

He did it so we'd have fun at Xena Con.  It was all we had talked about for 6 months.  My comment at New Year's, "Nobody die!" I'm sure helped influence his decision.  Honestly though, it didn't do anything but confuse and make us feel left out.  We worried the whole time we were there.  It was a roller coaster of hope, loss, depression, fear, and back to hope.   At the 2012 Xena Con,  Jennifer Sky talked about how her liver was dying.  With every word all I could do was think of Chris.  

Later, one of the long time Con attendees spoke about how she was donating all of her partner's collectibles. They had been together for something like 30 years and she had just passed away...from Cancer.

It seemed like death and cancer hovered over the entire con.  T & I ended up in a huge argument that night.  I'm surprised the authorities weren't called.  We pretty much didn't even touch each other the rest of the trip. Words were short.  We were both suffering but we thought we still had hope.  We didn't.

The last words from Chris to me were words of concern.  He was hopeful that we had made friends and that we were having fun.  I lied and told him we were.  The truth was we had just started what would be a painful, depressing, devastating, exhausting year.

In 16 days it will be one year since Chris left.  I miss him every day.  I miss him and Cindy just showing up at random times.  I miss so many things he did for me as a friend.

It wasn't just Chris we lost though.  It was our family unit.  The random weekend visits and discussions that lasted until dawn.  The rants about our parents and our jobs.  The holiday traditions.  We tried to deny it, but we both knew it was true.  And that we needed to mourn that as well.

Instead we tried to kill each other.

Seriously.

We even looked at places to move.  We decided to separate.  Every failure became the fault of the other.

Every day I tried to find another reason not to hang myself in the garage.  For real.

I have some pretty amazing friends.  People that genuinely care.  

I'm still not sure if we figured out how to mourn with each other, but we did learn how to stop hurting and hating and blaming.  We learned that we weren't broken, just bent.  We learned that we were "worth it".  We learned to have compassion for each other.  And empathy.  And to believe in each other again.

We also learned that we need spirituality.  

Not religion or dogma, but that connection to the universe that somehow, we had lost.

We learned that we hate our jobs and that we are tired of feeling stuck.  We aren't and we aren't going to be.  We haven't finished trying to be what we always dreamed of being.  

The number one thing we learned was that no matter what, we want to make those dreams come true side by side.  Together.  The world isn't this terrible negative scary place you see on TV and in movies or even in books.  No, it's beautiful and amazing and good.

Sure, crazy things happen, but just being alive is crazy.  Crazy amazing.

So, that brings us back to Xena Con 2013.  We had to go back!  We couldn't let THAT last one be OUR Xena Con experience forever.  Especially since they decided to have another.  It was supposed to be the very last one in 2012, but so many people came that they went ahead and had another.

T sold her car, which is great because we didn't need it and it will save us lots by not paying for a tag or insurance.  We got creative and came up with enough to go.  At the last minute ticket prices dropped and it all came together.  So, we went.  Free this time from any burden.

There were some minor difficulties at work, but that was all really just a learning experience.  

Let me tell you kids...we had a blast this time!  The con wasn't nearly as packed this time and we actually met back up with some peeps from last year.  I got to meet some of the people from the show that I really admired and they were all amazingly positive and nice.

It's weird how many of the people involved with the show believe in soulmates and true love and deeper love than most people understand.  I'm always surprised by how many of the Kiwi's don't shy away from talk of many lives together with their partners.  Xena Con really is sort of a gathering of souls that believe in what many might think impossible.  They all prove it isn't. 

 Every year Xena Con raises over $25,000 in charity.  They've collected more than 16 million in the 18 years of Fandom.  It's a good crowd.  A little strange, but pretty amazing.  

Burbank feels like another home.  A safe place.  I'm not sure I could ever live in a city THAT big, but I promise you, we will go back.  If not for Xena Con, then for something else.

Life is super better now.  T & I had an amazing holiday season and have found our way back from the darkness.  Back from the ledge.  Back from the swamps of sadness. The universe seems to be whispering things to us.  Beautiful things.

Be good to each other.  Do something that scares you.  Create.  Laugh.  Love deeply.

And May the Force Be With You...Always.

   

Bam!

Dang kids, I promise, one day I will return.  I made it back to work from Cali for 2 days before I was floored by the FLU.  Influenza Type A.  It kicked my butt.  Sort of.  It was a weird FLU. 

About 8 hours straight of vomiting.  I couldn't even keep a drink of water down.  My abs looks great now though.

Then a low grade fever of 100.4F while at the same time feeling like I was freezing to death.  Srsly.  I felt like I was getting frostbite.  I was so cold.  Colder than that time the power went out and the house got down to 30 F.

I would dry out like an Oklahoma pond in August, so much so that I swore I felt my brain getting crispy, and then suddenly I was a goo factory.  So much goo.  

Then all my joints swelled.  Every bone joint in my body felt like it was swollen 3 times it's normal size.  Like my cartilage had been boiled and forced back into place.  Ouch.

Then all this weird nerve pain.  Sudden waves of pains in my head, like thunderstorms, shooting lightning bolts down.  I couldn't move.  Little paralyzations all over.  

Then this cough and chest congestion.  Headache.  Sinus pressure.

If T hadn't gone to the doctor to make sure it was the FLU, I would have started to wonder what plague I had acquired.  

The good news is, it has finally subsided and I and now just exhausted and my voice is hoarse.

Did you notice that picture up there at the top?  That's Zoe Freakin' Bell, man.  How cool is that?  That happened at Xena Con.  I have so much to tell you.  Still.  I'll get to it.  I've worn myself out though.

So, I'll see you peeps tomorrow.

Cheers.

Star Wars Comics

Star Wars and Darkhorse are producing all new Star Wars comics with the classic characters.  #1 is out now and comes with a code to download a digital copy for free.

I'm going to have to go grab a copy.  Alex Ross is doing the covers, Carlos D'Anda is doing the inside art and Brian Wood is writing.  

Sideshow Chewbacca and Darth Vader

Sideshow is finally working on a Chewbacca.  It's something the fans have been clamoring for.



No other info yet.  While we're talking Sideshow Collectibles, I want to mention the Darth Vader Life Sized Bust.  It's impressive.



It's also $1199.99.  Eek.  However, you can flexpay at $300.00 a month until it's paid.  

Geek Girl Goodness

What now appears on the car.  

Snowcolypse 2012

It's was going to blizzard like crazy on xmas, but now...now the weather models say NOPE.

That makes me sad.  

I love snow.  I mean, I LOVE IT!  I love to play in it.  I love to shovel it.  I love to build things out of it.  Things like snow forts, snow walls, snow people, snow Daleks, snow Hutts and I get better at it everytime I get a chance to play in it.

I even enjoy getting the action figure out and playing with them.  IN THE SNOW!

Snow makes those Star Wars Hoth related toys even more awesome!

So everyone think, "Snow for Jen" and maybe, just maybe it'll work and I will get some snow.

If you want to see more snow action figure pics, check out my Flickr.

Art Toys

Sometimes toys are art and art is toys.  To understand what I mean, look at the pic above.  It looks like a toy, right?  It is, but it's more than that.  Several artists including Josh (Shag) Agle and Joe Somers (of Squibbles Ink) collaborated to bring this piece to life.  They made 100 pieces called Gallery Prototype Editions and they were available to those who showed up at the art opening for $90 each. There will be another edition available to the general public in 2013.  You might scoff, but this is no more or less art than Rodin's Thinker or DaVinci's Mona Lisa.  Gen X'ers love toys.  We refuse to give up those things that brought our imagination to life.  Art like this is a way for many Gen X'ers  and others to collect art that really speaks to them.  They buy it because they like it, not necessarily because it is any sort of investment.  I love this trend in art.  I hope it isn't just a trend and that it becomes a permanent part of art.  For more interesting art pieces go check out Rotofugi.

******update*******

I apparently missed someone who also was involved in this piece!  Apologies to Scott. Scott Wetterschneider (Shinbone Creative) was right in there on this with Josh and Joe.  

$10 Star Wars Leather Bound Novels

Go, right now to Barnes and Noble and pick up your $10.00 Leather bound edition of the Star Wars novels of the original trilogy!  It's an awesome edition of the books with a sweet leather cocover featuring Darth Vader.  From now until December 16th or while supplies last, you can pick this up for $10.  Any Star Wars fan would love this addition to their collection!

Buy one get one 50% off

If you are still looking for that thing to get the autistic or aspergian kid you know for the holidays, here's something that will help!  Entertainment Earth has buy one get one 50% on all their in stock model kits!

They have dinosaurs.

Cool vans!

Rockets!

And more!  

This sale runs December 5 to December 11, 2012.

Hellboy in HELL!

If you haven't been keeping up with Hellboy, you've missed something important.  I won't tell you what, but let's just say it has led to the fact that Hellboy has now gone to Hell.  Yep, he's in Hell.  The first issue of Hellboy in Hell came out this week.  If you're lucky, your comics shop will still have some.  If they don't, but you can't wait to read it, you have a second option: Online comic.  There's a sweet trial look if you aren't sure about reading a comic online.  Darkhorse has done an amazing job with the Hellboy comics online.  The online price is the same as the tangible paper copy: $2.99.  It works on the Android OS as well as Apple's OS, so you have no worries there.  The only problem you might encounter is if you want to read it on Kindle.  At this time, there's no Kindle support.  Sorry kids.  However, laptops and desktops are also a way you can read it.  So really, the Kindle is the ONLY thing it won't play on, pretty much.  Go, get you a copy now!  Look how far behind you are on reading one of the most amazing comics ever!  Go!  Hellboy in Hell!

New Marc Ecko Star Wars Shirts!

Just in time for the Holidays, Ecko has 3 new Star Wars shirts priced at $24.95.  The online site has some great deals.  25% off your order of $50 or more.  Go check them out!  There are some awesome hoodies and jackets as well!

Star Wars Wampa Ice Scraper

Think Geek again!

The Wampa Ice Scraper

100% Polyester.

Machine Washable!

17" x 8.5" (Mitt) 3" x 4" (Scraper)

$24.99

TARDIS Mini-fridge

Thinkgeek has it!  

Holds up to 6 cans of 12 oz. soda!

Plugs into a standard USB outlet or a 12v Car charger outlet.

Cooler on the inside.  

TARDIS sound effect that can be turned on/off.

$79.99