Reindeer

You can fit exactly two reindeer in the freight elevator. Yep, two reindeer. 

Meet Comet. He put in a good word for me with Santa. 

I cannot tell you how much I love my job. When a Monday morning consists of figuring out how to get two reindeer from the Mammal Collection down to the gallery, you know it's a good day. LOL. 

Happy Holidays Everyone.

 

NCBD (New Comic Book Day)

 I have a lofty goal of reviewing comics each week on New Comic Book Day. However, my shop doesn't open on Tuesdays, which is when DC drops new books each week, so I have to wait until Wednesday. No big deal, other than avoiding spoilers for an entire day. Now, being a HUGE Supergirl fan, I will most assuredly be reviewing anything with Kara Zor-El or any other version of Supergirl. I've already seen two mentions of her this week alone.

She will be making an appearance in Tom Taylor's "Dark Knights of Steel".  That's all I'm saying. It was spoiled for me, but I'm not spoiling it for you. If you're a Supercorp fan though, you might consider going out and grabbing issue 1 & 2. Tom's one of my top writers currently. I'm reading his Superman run as well as his Nightwing run. Both are excellently written and heartfelt. Everything Superhero comics should be. I love how he's changing what it means to be a Superhero with this second generation. Evolution of the genre is something the comics industry has needed and this guy is nailing it.

Dark Knights of Steel issue one was fantastic. I'm not going to spoil it here, even though it's been out for a month, because I think you Supergirl fans might go get it this week, but I will tell you it was a fun "elseworld" type beginning. We're in Medieval times, Kal-El's pod crashed near a castle & you never know who's going to show up where & in what context. If you like King Arthur or Robin Hood or sword swinging knights and you like superheroes, this book is for you. Go get it. 

(Image ©DC Comics)

Kara Zor-El is also supposed to pop up in the new book "World of Krypton" issue 1. It also comes out today. If you love Krypton or have ever wanted to learn more about Krypton, you might want to check this out. I'm going to. I'll give you more on the book later this week after I've read it. Kara does seem to be a fairly important part of the book, though. 

(Image ©DC Comics)

I like that DC seems to be embracing Kara Zor-El more. She's a great character with a super interesting past (pun intended) and so much trauma and hope and interesting things to explore. Past, present & future. While "World of Krypton" seems like a place we might get to see a young Kara growing up, which oddly enough in 60 years we NEVER have. Tom King's run explores Kara's present/future.

Tom King's "Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow" is so much of what I've wanted to see of Kara Zor-El. The trauma, the fight, the inability to give up no matter the odds. Stripping away the male gaze and the sexed up teenager in a short skirt that's always portrayed as some sort of perfect virginal vessel of hope & goodness.  An object, rather than a multi-layered being with emotions & imperfections & bad days. Having Bilquis Evely on the pencils really made sure of that. We get one of the most beautiful depictions of Kara Zor-El that I have ever seen. Mat Lopes colors just make things even more stunning. 

There's a lot of people that don't like this version of Supergirl. I really don't know how you couldn't, but hey, to each their own. I'm more than happy to see her elevated beyond fap material for 40 year old men. Some argue about her swearing. A being as intelligent as Kara Zor-El would swear. There are scientific studies out there about swearing & intelligence. Just google it. 

(Image ©DC Comics)

It's a character driven story about boundaries, trauma, aloneness and personal morals. Kara is one of the only (if not only) character in all of comics that has lost everything. Everything. Her loved ones, her friends, her home, her planet, her culture, her language, her gods, her technology, her way of life. Kal-El maybe a Kryptonian by DNA, but Kara Zor-El is really the last survivor of that culture. That world. Kal-El is a human. An Earthing in every way except his DNA. DC has sat on this character for far too long & I am really happy to see her evolving into someone women and young girls can connect with on a deeper level, rather than just being the same unsure sexualized teenager in a short skirt. 

"Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow" is an 8 book run and issue 6 will be the next issue out in either January or February, possibly the 21st of December if the paper shortage has been fixed & the release dates are to be believed. There should be a nice Hardback edition planned as the series ends that I would guess would be out late spring or early summer, unless DC decides to skip the usual fancy hardback. Tom King usually gets 12 books in a series and was very upfront about how DC didn't feel Supergirl warranted his usual 12 and only gave him 8, so it's possibly they'll just go straight to trade paperback. I certainly hope not because despite collecting every cover of every issue, I also plan on buying that hardback. Do you hear me, DC? 

All of this just to let you know that this space will be reviewing comics from now on. Weekly, if I don't utterly fail & fall into a hole of self-loathing laziness. This week, "Dark Knights of Steel" and "World of Krypton". Stay tuned.

I Want These!

 Look what I found over at UDReplicas!!!  These would be prefect on the Motorcycle & they're hi-tops! 

Hey...*ahem*...Santa? I've been so very good. 

***Update***

The sizes are men's and they are really wide.

There's no way those would fit me.

Bummer.

Art Links Updated

 Trying to get everything working on the blog here. I've updated the Art links. They should all link to the artist mentioned. If you come across one that doesn't, please let me know. I will be adding artists over the next few weeks/months. 

Have fun!

Supercorp Zine

Fandoms are cool. Especially really active ones that help boost causes. I was and still am active in the Xena fandom. It was my second fandom. Beauty and the Beast from CBS 1987 with Ron Perlman & Linda Hamilton was my first. I was very active in that one as well. I used to get the International Beauty and the Beast fan zine. I even got some art in it. 

With Xena, most of what I did was online. I even did some illustrations for the virtual 7th Season. I run the Netforum over on Tumblr now. 

The Supercorp fandom reminds me of the Xenite fandom. Especially when it comes to the art and fanfic and charity. The very last Supercorp zine just opened submissions. Check it out here:

Supercorp Zine

I have never seen a more talented pool of artists and writers in a fandom and we had a ton in Xena. I'm always blown away. I'll be adding artists from this fandom to the artist list over to the right. There's a few over there now. They do way more than fan art. I mean, fan art is real art, but they get paid to do art as well. Many have stores. Need a cool gift for a fan? Art is always a cool gift. 

The best thing about this zine is that all the profits go to charity. 

These charities:

Trevor Project, the Transgender Law Center, and Futures Without Violence

The zine isn't available for purchase yet. I'll let you know when. If you want to give submitting art or a story a shot though, go for it. I'm going to. 

I love this fandom and I hope we are still around to celebrate our 25th like Xena. 

Supercorp Endgame

One for the Supercorpers

 It's no secret I was/am a huge Supergirl fan. I mean, I cosplay her for goodness sake. I was also a big Supercorp shipper while watching the CW Supergirl show. So much so that I made a fan video. Here ya go, kids. 

Supercorp

Star Wars Rogue One Holidays

 Hey, Star Wars: Rogue One fans, there's a limited edition K2-S0 ornament at Hallmark. It's pretty sweet, too. Really heavy though. Hang it on a sturdy branch. 

Only one per customer and you can't get it online. 

I'm heading to Hallmark after work today to grab mine. 

Feast Day (formally know as Thanksgiving)

 

    (Feast Day photo © by Jen Tucker 2021)

Happy Feast Day. It used to be Thanksgiving and then COVID hit. Last year was the first year I did not spend Thanksgiving with people I was related to. I learned things. Lots of things. About myself, about holidays, about happiness and freedom and about boundaries. You could say I was incredible thankful for the time to myself. To think. This year was the same. Maybe less insightful, but incredibly relaxing. Happy. Joyous, even. 

My lovely lady made us a 10lb. organic free range turkey. It was perfect. Delicious. More food than two people could possibly need, but that's okay. No guilt, no shame. We ate, we laughed, we loved. We ate turkey for 4 days. All of it. None wasted. Even if we hadn't been able to eat it all, it's okay. For the first time in our 25 years, we have room to breathe financially. It could change any second. So, we celebrated. But without that fear that we could lose it all any second. We just relaxed. 

We talk openly in my house about "poverty mentality" these days. It has caused us so much stress & harm, but we are learning to leave it behind. What is "Poverty Mentality"? It's a complicated way of thinking and living due to living or being raised in poverty. It was passed down to me and due to the lack of preparation before, during and after college, as well as how I was raised, it continued into my adult life for far too long. You keep everything. Cluttering your spaces. You keep repairing things rather than replacing them, even if the repairs aren't really fixing it. More like just sticking a band-aid on it. You find the best "deal", even if quality is lacking. a $200 mattress as opposed to a $800 mattress. Sure, you saved some $$$ but your in constant pain & never get a good night's rest. 

You hoard food. Canned food. High salt food. Sugary food. Full of preservatives. Good food spoils too fast. 

You don't go to the doctor or dentist unless it is 100% necessary. Basically, unless you think you are dying. You scrimp & save. You fear losing everything, constantly. That fear drives your choices. Not just at the grocery store, but with life decisions. Risking changing jobs, even if the job is what you want & better for you. Traveling is a no go. You can't trust that your vehicle will make it more than across town. So, you miss out on friend time almost all the time. your relationships suffer. You also carry so much guilt when you find yourself with more. 

You find yourself hanging onto clothes that don't fit anymore, or furniture that doesn't work for you anymore because gods forbid, you might need it again someday. I promise, 99.8% of the time, you won't. 

We slept on a mattress on the floor for most of our adult lives because why spend money on a bed? This works. 

No, no it didn't. 

There's nothing wrong with fixing things or looking for bargains, but if you keep repairing a 20 year old vehicle and spend a couple grand a year or buy a bunch of bargain things to try and match the quality of one nice thing, well, you've probably got some "poverty mentality" and you're not really saving anything, but spending more & struggling & stressing while you're at it.

Just buy the nice thing. Trust me. It'll allow you to breathe.

COVID helped us with this. Well, not the virus itself, but the break & the COVID relief money as well as therapy and reading & learning about poverty mentality and how it was really screwing us up. 

It started with the bed, then the hot water heater, then the plumbing getting fixed and the kitchen sink being replaced and we just went from there. Now we have a new HVAC system and the foundation guy is coming out this week. With each new repair, there's a breath of fresh air and stress disappears. Learning how to spend & breaking that mentality has really helped. I finally took a chance at changing my job (thanks for the inspiration Lena Luthor) and that also helped. 

We still have work to do. 

I hope you all had a stress-free holiday as well. If not, ask yourself why? Take steps to change it. Life is short. Let's really live it. 

Online Holiday Shopping

 Before you lecture me, I agree. Shop local. 

If you can get it local, do that. Sometimes, you can't. Sometimes, you are supporting small business, just small business online. 

With that said, I'm going to talk about a few companies that I am familiar with online if you want to go that route. 

There are so many businesses popping up online nowadays that sometimes it's really hard to tell if they're legit. Even legit ones though can totally suck or just aren't real great at what they do.

Disclaimer: I do not work for or get anything (perks, free stuff, promos) from these companies. These are my own opinions based solely on my own experience. If they want to send me free shit, I would be super excited, but as for now, they do not.

The first business I'm going to tout is The Angry Minnow. This business is out of Minnesota and claims to "custom make and finish each piece" in their US facility. They've managed to wrangle some fun & impressive IPs for use as well as their own designs and use them on really quality hats, clothing & accessories. I, myself, have a Sleestak hat. I love it. Probably my favorite hat ever. 

If you know someone who loves trucker hats, baseball caps, etc. These guys are legit. They have anything from Sleestaks to Whitecastle to your fav sports team and did I mention quality. Seriously. It's a great hat. I don't own a flannel or other item from them, so I can't speak to the quality of those, but if it's anything like their hats, well...yeah. Quality. 

Pricing? Yeah, the stuff is a little expensive, competitive though, and again, quality. At least, the hats. 

*(Insert Image Here)<---waiting for permission*

Next up is Merchoid.

I'm not going to lie. They have some sweet stuff over there. Especially if you like superheroes and ugly sweaters. Or pretty much pop culture home decor. However, quality is average & they are international (outside the US) and despite saying "no additional shipping costs" and making jokes about their workers being "enslaved wookies" (yikes!) I've been charged import shipping/tax by them. I have the receipt. I'll find it & post it if I do. Plus, they completely screwed up my order & it took forever to get here. Two years ago BEFORE the USPS was all screwy. I can't imagine the wait time now. You'd need to order holiday sweaters in May to get them before Turkey day. I love my Superman ugly holiday sweater, but it's acrylic, cheaply made & by the time everything was sorted, the holidays were over. Plus the import/customs/extra charge on my Credit Card. Oh, and they weren't real nice about the sweater mix up either. I did get to keep the extra sweater, but when it's not the item you want...is that really a positive thing? It made a great donate-able gift though.

Looking for holiday cards from a real old school printing press? Oh boy, do I have the place for you! Also coming to you from Minnesota, The Warrior Printress has what you need. If they don't, they can custom design them for you. Now, this isn't some cheap $10 box of 50 cards from Wal-Mart. These are hand designed cards made on a real letterpress. Check out the video below.

Pricey? Yes and no. More expensive than that cheap "Made in China" box of cards but priceless for the art you get. And that's the thing. It isn't some lifeless thing you are giving, it's something that was 100% made with love. And quality? Absolutely. Best quality you can get. Oh, and they do more than cards.

Lastly, I'm going to let you in on one of my favorite places to browse. The Goodwill Store. No, not the one downtown. The one online! They recently revamped their site & seriously, you never know what you'll find. They have everything. Wish you could buy your childhood back but hate EBAY? Try this? Want a cool pocket knife. This is the place. Old fishing lures. Yep. Bundles of cheap comics for the kids. Indeed. Lots of action figures at low prices? Absolutely. 

Now, shipping can get you sometimes, depending on weight, but they only charge you what it costs to ship. For real. And it goes to a pretty good cause. And seriously. There is nothing they don't have.

I mean, I just typed in the word Braille in the Goodwill store search engine and boom, a Brailler came up. I didn't even know they made those. I mean, of course they do, but see what I mean? 

Museum Craftsperson

 Finally. I made it. I'm a Museum Tech/Craftsperson.

What is a Museum Tech/Craftsperson?

A creative problem-solver mostly.

You check the lights daily, make sure all the touch screens are responding check all the knobs and switches and keep everything running smoothly. 

There's lots of things to keep running smoothly. Lots of things.

Plus, you help Education with builds they need. And come up with creative ideas for events. 

You also help curators and collection managers. From building dummies to showcase outfits for an exhibit to welding rods and building brackets to hold ancient cunieform tablets.

It's what I've always wanted to do. 

Hawkwoman Returns!

Well, here's an exciting rumor. Hawkwoman, Shayera, is supposedly making a comeback. Shayera is supposedly making a cmeback as Hawkman fights for his life against the infection from the Bat Who Laughs. I'm 100% here for this. Hawkwoman was one of my first heroes in the comics. I used to pick up Hawkman comics anywhere I found them. Garage sales, thift stores, antique shops, you get it. I never really warmed up to Kendra aka Hawkgirl. She paled in comparision to my Queen of Thanagar. 

If you want to witness her return, make sure to pick up Hawkman #18. I'd go ahead and pick up Bryan Hitch's entire run BEFORE 18 as well. It was the best Hawkman I've read in ages. Maybe ever. 

P.S. There is a Supergirl connection in his run as well. It was pretty cool. 

New Comic Review: Star

I know, another post!  I'm on a roll! Okay, so on NCBD (New Comic Book Day) I picked up the 1st issue of a comic titled "Star".  I liked the cover art, it was a female on the cover, and I flipped through it and was impressed with the art.  Good art will sell me a comic every time.

(cover by Carmen Carnero) 

I got it home and learned it tied in with Captain Marvel.  The wife is completely up-to-date on Captain Marvel, which I believe is on issue 12, and I'm on like, issue 4.  I didn't realize how tied in it was, but T (My wife) explained to me later that it was a big tie-in. 

Star's real name is Ripley Ryan. 

It was a solid read, good writing and fantastic art.  Kelly Thompson is the writer and let me tell you kids, there's nothing she has written that I haven't loved.  She's a super duper comic writer.  In fact, I had no idea how many things she had written that I had picked up and loved until I did a little research.  Her run on Jem & the Holograms, Mr. and Mrs. X with Rogue and Gambit, and of course, Captain Marvel. 

I definitely want to read issue 2. 

I highly recommend picking up the last 12 issues, or at least the TP (Trade paperback) of Captain Marvel by Kelly Thompson, but you can pick up Star issue 1 right now.  It does a great job of filling you in on what happened to get the character to were she is when issue 1 starts, so you don't really feel lost or like you have to read Captain Marvel.

Oh, and did I mention she has an Infinity stone lodged inside her chest? 

Thanks for stopping by.

Keep reading!

Let's Talk Supergirl: Lena Luthor Edition

Hello Weirdos!

I'm thinking about making that my fanbase name.  You're all a bunch of weirdos.  I'm head weirdo.

Okay, on to our topic.  Supergirl and her BFF Lena Luthor.  You might be here because the tags #Supergirl #LenaLuthor led you here.  Let me tell you right up front, I heavily ship Supercorp.  However, that said, I am not one of those horrible people that attack the actors or the actors husbands because they play a character on a tv show that they don't like.  I can tell reality from fantasy.  Most of the time.

Lena Luthor.  Lena Luthor.  Lena Luthor captured my heart quicker than any character on a TV show ever has.  It was love at first site.  Not sexual love or romantic love, but a kind of parallel or sympathetic love.  Love for a fellow-sufferer.  Compassionate love. I just knew she was someone I was going to root for. She was someone I wanted to see be victorious in overcoming the Luthor name.  They set me up for that in her very first episode, "The Adventures of Supergirl".



"I'm just a woman, trying to make a name for herself, outside her family. You understand that?"

Like Kara, I was nodding yes. Yes, I do.  100%

"Give me a chance, Mr. Kent.  I'm here for a fresh start. Let me have one."

Yeah, Mr. Kent!  Let her have one!

Seriously. That was it.  I was on Lena's side instantly.  My affinity for her only grew stronger with each episode.  I felt very akin to Ms. Luthor.  I wasn't able to put my finger on it right away, but over the series it became crystal clear.

Lena Luthor was a trauma survivor.

Her real mother died when she was 4.  She watched her drown and blamed herself for not saving her.  Someone had convinced her this was something she should have done. Someone made her believe she didn't do enough. Someone made her feel guilty about it. We're never specifically told who, but it's easy to figure out who.  Her adoptive Mother.  Lillian Luthor.  Either directly, or indirectly through her mental abuse.

Lillian Luthor. Narcissist.

Lillian Luthor. Who despite her sons crimes, feels he is the golden child.  He can do no wrong, while Lena can do no right.  We do see her change her mind about her son once he tries to kill her.  Narcissists don't generally forgive that.

Lillian Luthor. Who had zero nurturing skills and passive aggressively tore Lena apart every chance she got.

Lillian Luthor. A personality I was all too familiar with.

Lena was smarter than Lillian.  She was smarter than Lex.  Lillian hated her for it.  Lillian hated her for many reasons.  One being the fact that Lena was the result of her husband's infidelity. At least Lena had that going for her.  Lillian wasn't her REAL Mother.  However, as we all know, the people that raise you are the people that fuck you up or give you the life coping skills you need.

I was seeing myself.  Here was a character trying to overcome everything she'd been through.  All the trauma, all the guilt, all the suffering, all the passive aggressive comments and jabs. She was alone. No one was on her side.  Not until Kara Danvers came along.

What she had accomplished was amazing.  She stood proud.  She was smart. She was beautiful.  She was creative and inventive and all she wanted in the world was to help people.  She was a very good businesswoman and in helping made a huge profit.  There's nothing shady about that.  Some Supergirl fans disagree.

Lena has always walked in the misty areas of good/bad.  She's what I would describe as a gray character.  Not overtly good but certainly not bad.  Her traumas and suffering absolutely color her choices, but in the opposite way of her brother's.  Lex Luthor wants to harm and maim and kill just as much as Lena wants to heal and help and save. Sometimes, her isolation and trauma hamper her understanding of what is considered "socially acceptable".

People that haven't been isolated,  raised by a narcissist, lied to constantly and had their moral compass smashed to bits and had to find their own way have a hard time understanding characters like this.


Lena not only had a Narcissist parent, but an addict parent and a megalomaniac psychopath brother.  Lena Luthor is incredibly strong to have overcome so much, right?  Well, as we are learning, no.

Lena is broken and has no coping skills.  She suffers from invalidation, instability, exploitation, manipulation, neglect, not being able to tell when someone is being superficial and control issues.  It's why, season after season we have watched Lena invite the wrong people into her life.  Queen Rhea, Eve Tessmacher, and more.  She literally runs to people who need fixed because she wants to help them. Desperately.  She is trying to save the world, cure cancer, be a hero BECAUSE of her trauma.  She trusts no one and at the same time trusts too soon when she thinks there's a connection, hoping for validation.  She had closed herself off completely after leaving Jack. Jack, who, for what we were shown, seems to have been really good for her.  Which is probably part of the reason she left.  Shame and guilt.  She most likely felt he deserved better.  Her Brother had just murdered who knows how many people in Metropolis trying to kill Superman.  She couldn't smear his name with her trauma.  She had to leave.  Run away. And she did. Right to Supergirl.

Lena's first interactions with Supergirl were interesting.  She was clearly thrilled to be teaming up.  Her over-enthusiasm fits perfectly with someone suffering the traumas of a Narcissistic parent. Especially when the other child had tried to kill a Super and failed.  It was rebellion and validation all in one.  Supergirl accepted her.  Supergirl BELIEVED in her.  Then, inevitably, Supergirl let her down. They had a disagreement and that was it.  Lena was done with her.  This too, is part of her trauma.  She still had Kara. Kara Danvers.  She clung to Kara.


And then the reveal.  Not by the person she trusted the most. No. By the person that had just manipulated and used her.  By the person that she had decided was a clear and present danger to the person she loved most in all the world.  Kara Danvers.  She killed her brother for Kara Danvers.  Kara Danvers, who ended up being someone who didn't need protecting at all.  She killed her brother for the Girl of Steel.  She broke.  Completely.



So here we are.  Season 5.  Lena is completely broken and making self-destructive choices.  How do I feel?  Scared to death.  Television isn't kind to people suffering from mental abuse and who have mental illness. Television often makes them the "bad guy" and irredeemable. I don't want to see this.

What do I want to see?  Well, let me tell you.  I want to see a group of friends decide that hell no, they aren't going to let their friend self-destruct. I want to see the challenges and the fight to help her.

 HOPE. HELP. COMPASSION FOR ALL.

That's Supergirl's motto. So show me, Supergirl.  Don't just tell me.  SHOW ME.

Show me, show the world, that mental illness can be managed.  Show the world how to not give up on someone and steer them towards healing.  Show the world that therapy and love and compassion can heal.  Show me that there's hope for Lena Luthor and in the process that there's all those things for people like her.  Lena wants help.  We've seen it throughout this arc.  If she didn't, it'd be a different story.

Lena is Good.  They will never convince me otherwise. Please don't let these characters fail her.

This cast has recently come forward about trauma and abuse and mental illness. Our very own Supergirl came forward as a victim of Intimate Partner Violence.  Melissa's Instagram video was harrowing and brave and so needed.  Chris Wood has a charity called "I Don't Mind" that helps with mental wellness.  Chyler Leigh recently came forward as bi-polar in an effort to help erase the stigma of mental illness.  All of this, so important, but you know what is also important?  Showing it in the fictional realm.  Showing it in storytelling.  Showing the world that someone like Lena Luthor can be okay.  That she is loved.  That people care.  That she is valid and deserving and that mistakes can be righted.  We've learned over the last 100 years how impactful television can be.  Even now, the propaganda machine is at war with storytelling and facts.

Come on, Supergirl.  Do this.  Not just for me.  Do it for all of us that have sat through series after series watching those gray characters, those hurting characters, those survivors of trauma we identified with vilified.  It's time to change the conversation.  Fight for Lena.

Heartbroken

I really haven't been able to post this.  I still can't accept it...or believe it.  It's going to be rambling & messy.

When I heard Carrie Fisher had a heart attack on a plane on Dec. 23rd I broke down and ugly cried.  I cried on & off all day.  I had a knot in my stomach, had trouble sleeping & had no appetite until they announced her passing on the 27th.  Then, I cried all day, again. I cried all week.  I find myself crying on & off as I write this.

 I can't begin to tell you what she meant to me.  I never met her & I don't know her personally, but you don't need to know someone personally for them to mean something to you.

Her death brought up many feelings.  My Grandpa Tucker's death when I was 16.  A fierce & funny personality, not unlike Carrie.  My friend Chris passing in 2012.  Star Wars fan & Leia lover.

Everybody has shared their stories & feelings.  I'm a little late because I truly just don't accept this.  I feel like we've moved into some weird alternate timeline that sucks. Really, really sucks.  I'm going to share my story, mostly for me.  It's nothing special.  It's not an extraordinary tale.  It's probably very similar to millions of others.

When I was a youngling of 3 years of age, my parents went to the drive-in, the Comet Drive-In & took me along.  That movie was "Star Wars". All I really remembered was the horrifying burned bodies of Aunt Beru & Uncle Owen, the twin suns setting & the music as Luke looks out across the desert, the swing across the chasm & the trench run.  I also remember it was raining.  I don't know if these are real memories or just the way my brain put them together.

I was 5 when "The Empire Strikes Back" came out & 8 or 9 when Jedi came out.  I remember wondering if Han was ever going to get out of that Carbonite.  I can remember running through the house shouting that a "Revenge of the Jedi" commercial just came on!  I pleaded with my parents to take me to see this film.  The Drive-In had long since closed.  The closest theater was 30 miles away.



They took me & my brother.  We went opening weekend, I think.  I remember there was a line outside the theater.  I can still remember how excited & anxious I was.

Return of the Jedi is where I thought my love of Leia started.  When she took off that bounty hunter mask after saving Han my mouth dropped open.  It was the single coolest thing I had ever seen.  Princess Leia just saved Han!  To this day, Leia in Bounty Hunter disguise is one of my favorite characters, toys, action figures ever!  A Princess saving a "Prince" long before it was hip or fashionable.

I remember the car ride home.  I cried & cried & cried.  Why?  I thought it was all over.  Star Wars was over.  The characters I loved would never return to the big screen.  Darth Vader was dead, along with the Emperor, Luke was a Jedi, Leia & Han were totally going to hook up & that was it.  The End.  I silently prayed to whatever gods could hear me that Star Wars would return someday & that Star Wars would be forever.

I remember that moment I walked into Barnes & Noble & saw that book.  The book.  "Heir to the Empire".  It had Luke & Leia & Han on the cover!  WHAT!?  I bought it immediately and thus my entrance into the Expanded Universe began.  I've read more Star Wars books than any other type of book.  Star Wars books & comics expanded the characters I loved so much.  I even had my own story of a secret & forbidden relationship between Mon Mothma & Admiral Ackbar.  Leia was fleshed out more.  She struggled to come to terms with her family ties to Vader & her Force sensitivity.  We got to read her being a leader & a politician & a badass. We got to read her using a lightsaber. Timothy Zahn took nothing away from her.

At the same time, in real life, Carrie Fisher began writing books.  Postcards from the Edge being one that eventually became a movie.  My love of Leia made me interested in the person that brought her to life.  My obsession with Star Wars spilled over into the actors real lives.  When people would make fun of Mark Hamill because he "hadn't worked since Jedi", I had a long list of his accomplishments memorized.  When people asked, "What ever happened to Carrie Fisher", I could list off all her books at what number they had reached on the New York Times bestseller list.  I'm almost impossible to beat at Star Wars Trivial Pursuit.  Life Skills.

Luke & Leia were special to me growing up because I had a brother.  People often asked us if we were twins.  That always made me smile because I would instantly think of Luke & Leia.

Above, I mentioned that I thought my love for Leia started in Jedi, and that was partially true.  I always loved Luke.  From the moment I saw him on the screen I wanted to be Luke Skywalker.  It wasn't until much later, as an adult, I realized how influential Princess Leia had been to me.  You see, I never believed I couldn't do anything a boy could do.  I didn't believe gender made a difference.  Why would I?  I grew up & was obsessed (still am) with a movie where a girl, a small petite girl at that, saves the boys multiple times & essentially saves the galaxy.  She was tortured, lost her entire planet, lost her boyfriend, almost lost her brother, found out her father was a murderous tyrant, saved her boyfriend, killed the most dangerous crime boss in the galaxy with the chains she'd been enslaved with & kept fighting until the Empire had fallen.  Why on earth would any girl that was lucky enough to have been 3 to 9 years old & grow up with Leia think any different?  Of course I never questioned what I could & couldn't do.  It confused me when I ran into these situations in real life.



As I got older, I realized that Princess Leia helped shape that attitude.  Then, there was Carrie Fisher. Unapologetic.  Free-spirited.  Not afraid to say she made mistakes. A creative. A writer.  REAL & raw.  It was very hard to separate Leia from Carrie.  They had the same strengths.  If you read the expanded universe stories, they also had some of the same weaknesses.

Carrie was never afraid to call bullshit.  She called people out.  She said what she meant.

When they announced Episode 7, I cried like that 9 year old kid leaving Jedi, but for the exact opposite reason.  My prayers had been answered.

I wondered if we'd get to see the Leia with Force powers from the Expanded Universe.  If she'd weild a lightsaber. If she was a Jedi.  I was pretty underwhelmed with what they gave her.  Cool, she's a General.  In the EU she had basically been the President of the New Republic, but okay...General.  Wow.

I watched every interview.  I stayed up until 5 in the morning watching the Star Wars Celebration live streams.  I was in heaven.

Carrie Fisher stole the show.  She was hilarious.  I don't think she really understood how much we loved her, not just Leia, but Carrie Fisher.  I hope she did.  

I wonder if we didn't ask too much.  I worry that she wasn't healthy enough for all the travel & work. The crash diet they put her on.  We didn't care if she had gained weight. I feel a little guilty for wanting her back so badly as our Princess & General.

I had hopes that we'd still get to see Leia the lightsaber wielding badass, but I think that's Rey's job.  I was heartbroken to hear they had so much more planned for her.  I look forward to her last scenes in episode VIII, but I also don't want to see them.  I don't want that to be the last time I ever see her.  42 year old me is crying because Princess Leia can always come back, but we lost someone way more important.  We lost Carrie.

I still just can't accept she's gone.

Carrie Fisher was a treasure.  She was a voice for mental health in a world that really needed one.  She was an unapologetic woman in a time we really need fierce women.  She was a storyteller.  Make no mistake though, she truly was Royalty.  Our Princess.  Planet Earth's Princess & Princess to every little girl that grew up not knowing she wasn't supposed to be able to do the things she was doing.

Thank you, Carrie.    

Sunsets

Sunsets.  Sunsets are unique. Never the same.  Depending on the particulates & other things in the air, they can either be stunningly full of color or just average.

I started taking sunset photos over a decade ago. It's something I'm happy about. My dog & sunsets get me out of the house. I usually wait to take the dog for her walk until half an hour or an hour before sunset.  My dog, Leela, is the reason I started taking the photos in the first place. We'd be out on the walk and I'd just be gobsmacked by the beauty.

I can't tell you how amazing it is to take a long  walk with my pal and end up at a place with a fantastic view of a sunset each day. This is what life is all about.

May the 4th, Revenge of the 5th, & Star Wars Rogue One

Hello there!

One of my favorite weeks of the year passed recently! Star Wars day as well as Free Comic Book Day and today is the 39th anniversary of Star Wars: A New Hope!  It's always fun to see the world come together in celebration & Star Wars day is one of those times.  People post pictures of pastries & other goodies in Star Wars shapes or themes, dress in costume, or simply wear something that quietly says, " I'm a fan". They make work polos and button up dress shirts with embroidered Star Wars images just for those business casual folks that have to go to work but still want to be a part of the fun.  You can even find ties & bow ties with Star Wars themes.

Check out these Star Wars polos! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/1389/?i=front


FREE COMIC BOOK DAY is the first Saturday in May every year. What is that you ask?  Well, (almost) every comic shop in the country sets out free comics that publishers have shipped so that readers can get an idea of what they offer.  It also helps get customers into the stores.  It's a win/ win for everyone.  There's often buttons and other swag that you can get as well. It's fun and you often can get into fun conversations about comics or movies with other fans. Cosplayers often make appearances as well. Get out there & support your local comics shop. Comics often open the door for literacy where other books might not.

My favorite free comic this year: 


I have yet to mention Star Wars Rogue One.  OMG! Mon Mothma! Mon "freakin'" Mothma!  If you read my Force Awakens review, you know how much I love Mon Mothma.  Ever since Force Awakens I have been researching & searching and investigating and trying to figure out if Mon Mothma died when the New Republic was destroyed.  Apparently not.  It seems the latest novel sheds some light on Mon Mothma's fate.  It's very close to the original EU, but with a less happy ending.  BOO!  Still, I am ecstatic that I get some Mon Mothma in Rogue One.  Not to mention the main character is named Jyn!  Yeah, I freaking LOVE that.  It's like all my Star Wars wishes are coming true.



I seriously cannot wait to see this film!  What do you guys think?  Did you participate in Star Wars Day or Free Comic Book Day?  Let me know by commenting below!

Star Wars Force Awakens Review : C minus

UPDATE:

April 2016

I have had the chance to watch this film at least 10 times now.  I would probably move it up to a B-.  I see now that my geekdom had a great influence on how I felt.  I DID know too much.  I WAS too invested in the Expanded Universe and it made it hard to enjoy what they changed.  I still hate what they did with the Force and I still think there were scenes where they didn't need to be all jokey.  The one that stands out now is the first interaction Poe has with Kylo where he cracks the "Who talks first" line.  It completely ruined the mood that had been established there.  Overall, though, it's not as bad as I originally thought.  The emotion did eventually come through and Finn got way less annoying.  I love Rey even more.   (End Update)


First off, if you haven't seen the film yet, leave now. There are SPOILERS. Plot reveals. You will know exactly what happens.  You have been warned.

Okay, I'm going to be up front with you guys here. I am NOT a prequel hater. I admit there are lots of problems in the the prequels, but overall I liked them. George Lucas didn't just copy what he had done before. He didn't use the nostalgia to buy his fans. He tried, rather clumsily, not always successfully, and sometimes cringingly, to create something new and expand the Star Wars Universe.  It was brave & it was crazy & I admire him for it.

Now, that being said, The Force Awakens is not original.  It DOES try to buy the fans with nostalgia, and it has. I have to wonder how many review sites Disney owns because the reviews have been overwhelmingly positive.  Some of these people are the same people that constantly berate other movies & directors & writers for copying and not being original. These people scream about originality being a thing of the past. Yet, for some reason they ate this rehash up like it was the last cookie in the jar.

Director and Creater George Lucas is not part of the inner circle of Hollywood.  He doesn't belong to the Director's guild because he disagreed with them.  He's always been a bit of a rebel. I always liked that about him.  He's a true artist.  Maybe things didn't always work, but he never stopped trying to make something interesting & original. I think he thought he'd have more say even though Disney bought the rights.  He fought to keep Kathleen Kennedy as head of Lucasfilm.  I bet he's feeling a little betrayed.  I wish he hadn't felt he needed to sell. 

 

One of my biggest problems with this film is how it utterly destroys everything our original heroes fought for and accomplished as well as their bonds to each other.  Han is a failure. Leia is a failure. Luke is a failure. Even Chewbacca fails. A good storyteller doesn't have to tear down the existing story to tell a better or equal one.  A good storyteller can build on it.  J.J. Abrams destroys the Republic without even batting an eye. As an avid reader of all of the novels, I was devastated by the lack of emotion and simplicity of this destruction.  Our original heroes and the original movies were about restoring the Republic. Friends, family & loved ones of our characters died doing exactly that and "boom!" all of that is destroyed.  Han's kid gets in with the wrong crowd & he just runs back to the bar & criminal activity & blames it on Leia's bloodline.  Luke fails at training Jedi.  Ugh.  Leia fails to protect the Republic, raise a son, learn the Force, find her Brother or save her relationship. Wow. Chewie fails to honor his life debt to Han.  Wouldn't Chewie have helped raise Ben/Kylo?  Wouldn't he have been like an Uncle to him?  It didn't seem that way when Chewie shot him.  No hesitation.  No inner struggle with the situation.  Leia & Han have problems with Kylo, he slaughters the new Jedi and Luke just leaves when his friends and his SISTER when they need him the most?  When they all need each other the most?  These are not the people I grew up with.  These are not the bonds we saw form over the 3 films of the original trilogy.  Leia just lets Han leave?  Really?  She never would've let him leave.  She faced Jabba the Hutt just to get the bastard back.  Clearly Mr. Ford had a death wish for Han and it was finally honored.  It's well know he wanted the character to die in Empire & Jedi and the rumor is that was the only way he'd agree to sign.  Mr. Lucas might not have been an actor's director, but he certainly was a character director.  He knew those characters.  He understood their bond.  With this version, our characters relationships have eroded away to nothingness.  No bond, no love, no unity, no family, no connection.

Let's also talk about those of us who grew up with the expanded universe.  Those of us who found the politics in Star Wars so interesting.  Those of us who saw characters like Mon Mothma and Admiral Ackbar and so many others fleshed out in print.  The Republic flourish and change and rise and become something better & stronger.  To wipe out the Republic without so much as a tear was blasphemous to me.  I still don't know the fate of many of my favorite characters from the EU, but I was lead to believe that most, including Mon Mothma, perished with one shot, and no one really cared.  Leia would have been DEVASTATED.  Mon Mothma was a mentor to her.  Oh, but wait, Disney clearly said EU doesn't exist anymore.  Well, it's not that easy for me to simply wipe away 30+ years of world building.  I'm sorry.  I'm sure that's part of my own issues with this whole mess, but I assure you I'm not alone.

So, why is everyone else okay with this? Why is this being called an awesome movie? A Success!  Part of it is the psychology put in place BEFORE the movie was released. Abrams & Kennedy kept saying "History repeats itself." "Things always repeat themselves." "It's fun!"  "It honors what came before!" "It takes everything you love from the originals & adds something new!"  I keep seeing reviewers and those who love the film regurgitate these words.  I love Star Wars because it shows us that we can learn from our mistakes and we DON'T have to repeat the past. Star Wars was a hopeful optimistic tale of mysticism & balance & overcoming greed, revenge, slavery, fear, and oppression, but most of all connection.   Connection to each other as well as the greater whole.  The Force Awakens was not.  The Force Awakens tells us we can never overcome these things. We will never reach a higher plane.  We are destine to fail over & over again. We are not connected or bonded & even if we were, those bonds mean nothing.  They can crumble in an instant.  No matter what we've gone through together.  The outlook is bleak & rather dystopic.  Just like every other movie we've been fed since 9-11.  *sigh*  Where's the hope? Where's the strength & love? Where's the magic?

The Force was also misused.  The "old" Force just wasn't cool enough.  Everything now has to be over the top & steroided up. Patience & training are boring.  So, now you can capture and hold laser bolts while fighting a village despite not even having much formal training. You can mind rape people. That's so much cooler than using an interrogation droid.  Actually, I really hate this.  Jedi mind tricks are one thing...mind rape...ugh. The Force has been turned into a weapon & a silly magic trick and an invasive torture tool.  It's laughed at.  No one laughed at the Force before!  The Force was serious. It was something many of us believe in.  It was based on the best parts of all the great stories & philosophies that came before & now it's just a joke.  A steroided weapon to be used to FORCE people to do different things. The snark towards it in the movie turned my stomach a bit.  

Originality is so lacking in this movie. The costumes, the ships, and more are all old McQuarrie designs.  McQuarrie even imagined a female Jedi Skywalker & a spherical droid.  BB-8 uses a flash drive. I say uses, it just sits in a plastic tray. It didn't even plug in.  Lazy writing. Unimaginative. That's now tech.  R2 used a DVD before DVDs existed.  Where's the imagination? Where's the cool new stuff? Even the prequels succeeded there. We have a desert planet that isn't Tattoonie, but it is.  Moisture vaporators & all.  We have an Ice planet that isn't Hoth & a tree planet that isn't Endor. Where's the cool alien planets?  Speaking of aliens, where the hell are they?!  No Rodans? No Nautolans.  No Twi'leks.  No Ithorians.  No Grans. No Gamorreans. No Duros?  Just humans and maybe 5 new creatures?  Whatever Maz is, the big lug on the couch with evil Harley Quinn, the Monsters Han caught, and 3 or 4 aliens on Jakku.  Star Wars has always been filled with interesting and new forms of life.  This was 95 percent HUMANS.  Boring.  Unimaginative. 

 Despite being told we wouldn't be fed tons of CGI, we did get a large dose of it.  Snoke, Maz, and even Unkar Plutt were all CGI characters. Why did they build a costume for Simon Pegg if they were just going to CGI over it? There were more  practical effects in this film than the prequels though. I can't deny that. Yet, Snoke looked like the great & powerful Oz version of Gollum.  I won't even start with the 3rd Death Star thing.  Seriously, no one could imagine anything better?  I bet Lucas did.  We'll never know.

Despite all of this,  there were things I loved. Rey. Rey was a little more fleshed out than everyone else & I won't deny that it was cool seeing a female lead in a Star Wars movie. I did manage to care about her & do want to see what happens with her.  She better be a Skywalker, though.  Star Wars is about the Skywalkers.  If you want to spin off to another story, fine, just do it after the new trilogy.   BB-8 was nice, despite just being a round version of R2. Seeing Luke Skywalker again was awesome.  The nostalgia got me there. I was surprised by how annoying Finn was.  I went in expecting to love Finn, since I found John Boyega so cool in the interviews, but his character came off like an asthmatic fanboy.  Poe was a Mary Sue.  Seriously, the guy was perfect.  Perfect looks, perfect pilot, willing to help a stranger, found the missing piece of the map & destroyed Starkiller base.  All with a gorgeous smile.  I do sort of like Kylo.  I think he could be interesting.  It would have been more interesting to see how he came to this conclusion of Vader not finishing what he intended.  How he discovered his lineage.  What exactly happened to him BEFORE we got here.  Overall, I'm just so disappointed.  Disappointed & hurt.  I went to the movie with high hopes and left in tears.  I literally cried on the way home.

 

I know I'm in the minority.  I was disappointed with Phantom Menace as well, although it didn't make me cry, & I was in the minority then as well. I loved Qui-Gon but was annoyed by Jar Jar. I freaked out at the midichlorians thing, but Lucas went back & revised & explained it a bit.  People denied that it missed it mark at first. Force Awakens isn't a terrible film for a flashy action space film but it isn't great either.  That being said,  I will see the next one because I do care enough about Rey to want to see what happens to her.  I might not go to the theater to see it though.  I probably will.  

I don't buy the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" excuse either.  Maybe try first.  Of course, there is no try.  Do or do not.  They did not.

This review isn't meant to try & change anyone's mind.  It's just a way for me to voice my disappointment & to share my reasons.   Maybe reading all those novels & comics & being such a Luke fan & optimistic person has made my perspective different from the masses. Maybe it's because the Force was the thing that helped me get through the tough spots in my life & it's hard seeing that parodied in such a bad way.   Maybe it's because I refuse to believe people bonded so closely & who fought so hard would just give up on the important things in life & just become sad shadows of themselves..  I just hope the next one is better.  I hope they take it a little more serious.  

 

Exciting Xena News

Dynamite Comics has confirmed they will be producing new Xena Comics.  I'm very excited about this for more than one reason.
     First off, new Xena storylines by one of my favorite comics companies. They did some Xena as well as Xena vs. Ash (Evil Dead) back in the early 2000s, but the art was a little to T & A and the stories didn't feel authentically Xena. It was a good try though.  I really feel many of these companies are starting to catch on to what matters in a property now, so I'm very hopeful.
      I think this fandom is really going to make Xena happen. Nerdist, Huffpo, and numerous other entertainment and media outlets are reinforcing the hard work of Xenites to reunite the Warrior Princess & her Bard. A new comic series will just boost that even more.
     The recent disaster of the "Jem & the Holograms" movie is a clear signal to studios that fans no longer accept reboots or other reimaginings in name only. It must be true to the source material and the people working on it have to understand it, otherwise it will fail.  It will fail hard. Money will be lost. Let's hope both Dynamite Comics as well as NBCUniversal understand this and have been paying attention.

Painting & Fighting

I'm painting. I've been painting. It's been difficult.  I've lost much of my motor memory. I've forgotten how to see clearly. I get tired more quickly.  I'm not 25 anymore.  I'm not even 39. 
     Resistance is an interesting thing.  It takes many forms. I regret nothing though.  Getting out of the machine saved my life.  Finding my rhythm has required more patience than I had estimated.
    This is real.  I am doing art. All day if I want. It's amazing. Also, terrifying.  I was so used to being efficient & scheduled.  Art is neither.  Being professional is. Being a freelance artist requires a balance of the two.
      I'm still falling down now & then, but I'm getting back up every time.   I get scared sometimes.  Scared that I've lost some intangable thing I had before I entered the machine.  Scared that something broke inside of me. I know that just resistance lying to me.
     I've met some goals. I've had to reassess some things.  I have to keep telling myself that art is a real job.  I just have to keep moving forward.  I sleep too much. It's part of the resistance.   That and I was really, really, really tired. It's 3:38 am. I'm painting. Tomorrow I will paint again.
     Art is a real job.

Studio

Finally, the studio is a studio again.  My depression and chronic stress from the horrible job I was stuck in is in the past.  I'm a full-time artist now. 

This year has been amazing.  Things just fell together. 

I work 15 hrs at an Art Museum just to cover my benefits, but other than that, all the rest of my time is time to create.

T & I have switched some responsibilities around.  I now do all the grocery shopping.  It's been nice.  I can go during the day when the stores aren't crowded.  This has reduced T's stress as well.  No more fighting to get to and thru the store right after work.

I will start posting here more often now.

Cheers!