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This script writing stuff is hard. Especially when you take characters that are already established that you LOVE because you don't want to hurt them. You feel like they are a part of you. That's the "Fan" talking though. The "Fan" can really screw up a good story.
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While on this journey with Xena & Gabrielle for the second time as we re-watch all the episodes, we have laughed & we have cried. We've cried more. The characters have hurt so deeply & overcome incredibly difficult situations. There is something beautiful in the pain they share & what they give to each other. I realized last night that part of the problem with our story was that I wanted to save them. I didn't want them to hurt. Sure, they could get physically beat up a little, but no more emotional hurt. I wanted to fix everything & it end happy and everything be okay, just in an exciting way.
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How uncharacteristic & boring. And how impossible. As a writer, you have to make the hard choices. You have to up the stakes. You have to hurt your characters or they will never move past things & grow. Xena left Gabrielle alone. After all the promises of forever & eternity & never again, she left her. Not only that, but she left her just as she came into her own as a warrior. Xena always had Gabrielle to lean on, but who does Gabby have?
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Now, the anger & frustration I need my character to feel is difficult. I don't want her to be upset & angry. I don't want her to have to become hard. Just like Xena, I don't want that "light" to go out in her soul. However, as a writer, it sure would make an interesting story. It sure would hurt to see that happen. It sure would make you cheer on Xena in attempt to bring Gabrielle back from that. It would be interesting to see what Gabrielle tells Xena about how she feels about being abandoned. Much of it wouldn't be pretty & we all know we can't just go back to who we were in the past. We can only move forward & decide what direction we are going to take now. Sometimes, in order to move forward, you have to let go. I love this creative process. I love everything I'm learning. Even if it hard sometimes.
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