
Saturday, January 11, 2020
New Comic Review: Star

Sunday, December 29, 2019
Let's Talk Supergirl: Lena Luthor Edition
I'm thinking about making that my fanbase name. You're all a bunch of weirdos. I'm head weirdo.
Okay, on to our topic. Supergirl and her BFF Lena Luthor. You might be here because the tags #Supergirl #LenaLuthor led you here. Let me tell you right up front, I heavily ship Supercorp. However, that said, I am not one of those horrible people that attack the actors or the actors husbands because they play a character on a tv show that they don't like. I can tell reality from fantasy. Most of the time.
Lena Luthor. Lena Luthor. Lena Luthor captured my heart quicker than any character on a TV show ever has. It was love at first site. Not sexual love or romantic love, but a kind of parallel or sympathetic love. Love for a fellow-sufferer. Compassionate love. I just knew she was someone I was going to root for. She was someone I wanted to see be victorious in overcoming the Luthor name. They set me up for that in her very first episode, "The Adventures of Supergirl".
"I'm just a woman, trying to make a name for herself, outside her family. You understand that?"
Like Kara, I was nodding yes. Yes, I do. 100%
"Give me a chance, Mr. Kent. I'm here for a fresh start. Let me have one."
Yeah, Mr. Kent! Let her have one!
Seriously. That was it. I was on Lena's side instantly. My affinity for her only grew stronger with each episode. I felt very akin to Ms. Luthor. I wasn't able to put my finger on it right away, but over the series it became crystal clear.
Lena Luthor was a trauma survivor.
Her real mother died when she was 4. She watched her drown and blamed herself for not saving her. Someone had convinced her this was something she should have done. Someone made her believe she didn't do enough. Someone made her feel guilty about it. We're never specifically told who, but it's easy to figure out who. Her adoptive Mother. Lillian Luthor. Either directly, or indirectly through her mental abuse.
Lillian Luthor. Narcissist.
Lillian Luthor. Who despite her sons crimes, feels he is the golden child. He can do no wrong, while Lena can do no right. We do see her change her mind about her son once he tries to kill her. Narcissists don't generally forgive that.
Lillian Luthor. Who had zero nurturing skills and passive aggressively tore Lena apart every chance she got.
Lillian Luthor. A personality I was all too familiar with.
Lena was smarter than Lillian. She was smarter than Lex. Lillian hated her for it. Lillian hated her for many reasons. One being the fact that Lena was the result of her husband's infidelity. At least Lena had that going for her. Lillian wasn't her REAL Mother. However, as we all know, the people that raise you are the people that fuck you up or give you the life coping skills you need.
I was seeing myself. Here was a character trying to overcome everything she'd been through. All the trauma, all the guilt, all the suffering, all the passive aggressive comments and jabs. She was alone. No one was on her side. Not until Kara Danvers came along.
What she had accomplished was amazing. She stood proud. She was smart. She was beautiful. She was creative and inventive and all she wanted in the world was to help people. She was a very good businesswoman and in helping made a huge profit. There's nothing shady about that. Some Supergirl fans disagree.
Lena has always walked in the misty areas of good/bad. She's what I would describe as a gray character. Not overtly good but certainly not bad. Her traumas and suffering absolutely color her choices, but in the opposite way of her brother's. Lex Luthor wants to harm and maim and kill just as much as Lena wants to heal and help and save. Sometimes, her isolation and trauma hamper her understanding of what is considered "socially acceptable".
People that haven't been isolated, raised by a narcissist, lied to constantly and had their moral compass smashed to bits and had to find their own way have a hard time understanding characters like this.
Lena not only had a Narcissist parent, but an addict parent and a megalomaniac psychopath brother. Lena Luthor is incredibly strong to have overcome so much, right? Well, as we are learning, no.
Lena is broken and has no coping skills. She suffers from invalidation, instability, exploitation, manipulation, neglect, not being able to tell when someone is being superficial and control issues. It's why, season after season we have watched Lena invite the wrong people into her life. Queen Rhea, Eve Tessmacher, and more. She literally runs to people who need fixed because she wants to help them. Desperately. She is trying to save the world, cure cancer, be a hero BECAUSE of her trauma. She trusts no one and at the same time trusts too soon when she thinks there's a connection, hoping for validation. She had closed herself off completely after leaving Jack. Jack, who, for what we were shown, seems to have been really good for her. Which is probably part of the reason she left. Shame and guilt. She most likely felt he deserved better. Her Brother had just murdered who knows how many people in Metropolis trying to kill Superman. She couldn't smear his name with her trauma. She had to leave. Run away. And she did. Right to Supergirl.
Lena's first interactions with Supergirl were interesting. She was clearly thrilled to be teaming up. Her over-enthusiasm fits perfectly with someone suffering the traumas of a Narcissistic parent. Especially when the other child had tried to kill a Super and failed. It was rebellion and validation all in one. Supergirl accepted her. Supergirl BELIEVED in her. Then, inevitably, Supergirl let her down. They had a disagreement and that was it. Lena was done with her. This too, is part of her trauma. She still had Kara. Kara Danvers. She clung to Kara.

And then the reveal. Not by the person she trusted the most. No. By the person that had just manipulated and used her. By the person that she had decided was a clear and present danger to the person she loved most in all the world. Kara Danvers. She killed her brother for Kara Danvers. Kara Danvers, who ended up being someone who didn't need protecting at all. She killed her brother for the Girl of Steel. She broke. Completely.
So here we are. Season 5. Lena is completely broken and making self-destructive choices. How do I feel? Scared to death. Television isn't kind to people suffering from mental abuse and who have mental illness. Television often makes them the "bad guy" and irredeemable. I don't want to see this.
What do I want to see? Well, let me tell you. I want to see a group of friends decide that hell no, they aren't going to let their friend self-destruct. I want to see the challenges and the fight to help her.
HOPE. HELP. COMPASSION FOR ALL.
That's Supergirl's motto. So show me, Supergirl. Don't just tell me. SHOW ME.
Show me, show the world, that mental illness can be managed. Show the world how to not give up on someone and steer them towards healing. Show the world that therapy and love and compassion can heal. Show me that there's hope for Lena Luthor and in the process that there's all those things for people like her. Lena wants help. We've seen it throughout this arc. If she didn't, it'd be a different story.
Lena is Good. They will never convince me otherwise. Please don't let these characters fail her.
This cast has recently come forward about trauma and abuse and mental illness. Our very own Supergirl came forward as a victim of Intimate Partner Violence. Melissa's Instagram video was harrowing and brave and so needed. Chris Wood has a charity called "I Don't Mind" that helps with mental wellness. Chyler Leigh recently came forward as bi-polar in an effort to help erase the stigma of mental illness. All of this, so important, but you know what is also important? Showing it in the fictional realm. Showing it in storytelling. Showing the world that someone like Lena Luthor can be okay. That she is loved. That people care. That she is valid and deserving and that mistakes can be righted. We've learned over the last 100 years how impactful television can be. Even now, the propaganda machine is at war with storytelling and facts.
Come on, Supergirl. Do this. Not just for me. Do it for all of us that have sat through series after series watching those gray characters, those hurting characters, those survivors of trauma we identified with vilified. It's time to change the conversation. Fight for Lena.

Friday, January 20, 2017
Heartbroken
I really haven't been able to post this. I still can't accept it...or believe it. It's going to be rambling & messy.
When I heard Carrie Fisher had a heart attack on a plane on Dec. 23rd I broke down and ugly cried. I cried on & off all day. I had a knot in my stomach, had trouble sleeping & had no appetite until they announced her passing on the 27th. Then, I cried all day, again. I cried all week. I find myself crying on & off as I write this.
I can't begin to tell you what she meant to me. I never met her & I don't know her personally, but you don't need to know someone personally for them to mean something to you.
Her death brought up many feelings. My Grandpa Tucker's death when I was 16. A fierce & funny personality, not unlike Carrie. My friend Chris passing in 2012. Star Wars fan & Leia lover.
Everybody has shared their stories & feelings. I'm a little late because I truly just don't accept this. I feel like we've moved into some weird alternate timeline that sucks. Really, really sucks. I'm going to share my story, mostly for me. It's nothing special. It's not an extraordinary tale. It's probably very similar to millions of others.
When I was a youngling of 3 years of age, my parents went to the drive-in, the Comet Drive-In & took me along. That movie was "Star Wars". All I really remembered was the horrifying burned bodies of Aunt Beru & Uncle Owen, the twin suns setting & the music as Luke looks out across the desert, the swing across the chasm & the trench run. I also remember it was raining. I don't know if these are real memories or just the way my brain put them together.
I was 5 when "The Empire Strikes Back" came out & 8 or 9 when Jedi came out. I remember wondering if Han was ever going to get out of that Carbonite. I can remember running through the house shouting that a "Revenge of the Jedi" commercial just came on! I pleaded with my parents to take me to see this film. The Drive-In had long since closed. The closest theater was 30 miles away.
They took me & my brother. We went opening weekend, I think. I remember there was a line outside the theater. I can still remember how excited & anxious I was.
Return of the Jedi is where I thought my love of Leia started. When she took off that bounty hunter mask after saving Han my mouth dropped open. It was the single coolest thing I had ever seen. Princess Leia just saved Han! To this day, Leia in Bounty Hunter disguise is one of my favorite characters, toys, action figures ever! A Princess saving a "Prince" long before it was hip or fashionable.
I remember the car ride home. I cried & cried & cried. Why? I thought it was all over. Star Wars was over. The characters I loved would never return to the big screen. Darth Vader was dead, along with the Emperor, Luke was a Jedi, Leia & Han were totally going to hook up & that was it. The End. I silently prayed to whatever gods could hear me that Star Wars would return someday & that Star Wars would be forever.
I remember that moment I walked into Barnes & Noble & saw that book. The book. "Heir to the Empire". It had Luke & Leia & Han on the cover! WHAT!? I bought it immediately and thus my entrance into the Expanded Universe began. I've read more Star Wars books than any other type of book. Star Wars books & comics expanded the characters I loved so much. I even had my own story of a secret & forbidden relationship between Mon Mothma & Admiral Ackbar. Leia was fleshed out more. She struggled to come to terms with her family ties to Vader & her Force sensitivity. We got to read her being a leader & a politician & a badass. We got to read her using a lightsaber. Timothy Zahn took nothing away from her.
At the same time, in real life, Carrie Fisher began writing books. Postcards from the Edge being one that eventually became a movie. My love of Leia made me interested in the person that brought her to life. My obsession with Star Wars spilled over into the actors real lives. When people would make fun of Mark Hamill because he "hadn't worked since Jedi", I had a long list of his accomplishments memorized. When people asked, "What ever happened to Carrie Fisher", I could list off all her books at what number they had reached on the New York Times bestseller list. I'm almost impossible to beat at Star Wars Trivial Pursuit. Life Skills.
Luke & Leia were special to me growing up because I had a brother. People often asked us if we were twins. That always made me smile because I would instantly think of Luke & Leia.
Above, I mentioned that I thought my love for Leia started in Jedi, and that was partially true. I always loved Luke. From the moment I saw him on the screen I wanted to be Luke Skywalker. It wasn't until much later, as an adult, I realized how influential Princess Leia had been to me. You see, I never believed I couldn't do anything a boy could do. I didn't believe gender made a difference. Why would I? I grew up & was obsessed (still am) with a movie where a girl, a small petite girl at that, saves the boys multiple times & essentially saves the galaxy. She was tortured, lost her entire planet, lost her boyfriend, almost lost her brother, found out her father was a murderous tyrant, saved her boyfriend, killed the most dangerous crime boss in the galaxy with the chains she'd been enslaved with & kept fighting until the Empire had fallen. Why on earth would any girl that was lucky enough to have been 3 to 9 years old & grow up with Leia think any different? Of course I never questioned what I could & couldn't do. It confused me when I ran into these situations in real life.
As I got older, I realized that Princess Leia helped shape that attitude. Then, there was Carrie Fisher. Unapologetic. Free-spirited. Not afraid to say she made mistakes. A creative. A writer. REAL & raw. It was very hard to separate Leia from Carrie. They had the same strengths. If you read the expanded universe stories, they also had some of the same weaknesses.
Carrie was never afraid to call bullshit. She called people out. She said what she meant.
When they announced Episode 7, I cried like that 9 year old kid leaving Jedi, but for the exact opposite reason. My prayers had been answered.
I wondered if we'd get to see the Leia with Force powers from the Expanded Universe. If she'd weild a lightsaber. If she was a Jedi. I was pretty underwhelmed with what they gave her. Cool, she's a General. In the EU she had basically been the President of the New Republic, but okay...General. Wow.
I watched every interview. I stayed up until 5 in the morning watching the Star Wars Celebration live streams. I was in heaven.
Carrie Fisher stole the show. She was hilarious. I don't think she really understood how much we loved her, not just Leia, but Carrie Fisher. I hope she did.
I wonder if we didn't ask too much. I worry that she wasn't healthy enough for all the travel & work. The crash diet they put her on. We didn't care if she had gained weight. I feel a little guilty for wanting her back so badly as our Princess & General.
I had hopes that we'd still get to see Leia the lightsaber wielding badass, but I think that's Rey's job. I was heartbroken to hear they had so much more planned for her. I look forward to her last scenes in episode VIII, but I also don't want to see them. I don't want that to be the last time I ever see her. 42 year old me is crying because Princess Leia can always come back, but we lost someone way more important. We lost Carrie.
I still just can't accept she's gone.
Carrie Fisher was a treasure. She was a voice for mental health in a world that really needed one. She was an unapologetic woman in a time we really need fierce women. She was a storyteller. Make no mistake though, she truly was Royalty. Our Princess. Planet Earth's Princess & Princess to every little girl that grew up not knowing she wasn't supposed to be able to do the things she was doing.
Thank you, Carrie.
Sunday, August 28, 2016
Sunsets
Sunsets. Sunsets are unique. Never the same. Depending on the particulates & other things in the air, they can either be stunningly full of color or just average.
I started taking sunset photos over a decade ago. It's something I'm happy about. My dog & sunsets get me out of the house. I usually wait to take the dog for her walk until half an hour or an hour before sunset. My dog, Leela, is the reason I started taking the photos in the first place. We'd be out on the walk and I'd just be gobsmacked by the beauty.
I can't tell you how amazing it is to take a long walk with my pal and end up at a place with a fantastic view of a sunset each day. This is what life is all about.
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
May the 4th, Revenge of the 5th, & Star Wars Rogue One
One of my favorite weeks of the year passed recently! Star Wars day as well as Free Comic Book Day and today is the 39th anniversary of Star Wars: A New Hope! It's always fun to see the world come together in celebration & Star Wars day is one of those times. People post pictures of pastries & other goodies in Star Wars shapes or themes, dress in costume, or simply wear something that quietly says, " I'm a fan". They make work polos and button up dress shirts with embroidered Star Wars images just for those business casual folks that have to go to work but still want to be a part of the fun. You can even find ties & bow ties with Star Wars themes.
Check out these Star Wars polos! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/1389/?i=front
FREE COMIC BOOK DAY is the first Saturday in May every year. What is that you ask? Well, (almost) every comic shop in the country sets out free comics that publishers have shipped so that readers can get an idea of what they offer. It also helps get customers into the stores. It's a win/ win for everyone. There's often buttons and other swag that you can get as well. It's fun and you often can get into fun conversations about comics or movies with other fans. Cosplayers often make appearances as well. Get out there & support your local comics shop. Comics often open the door for literacy where other books might not.
My favorite free comic this year:

I have yet to mention Star Wars Rogue One. OMG! Mon Mothma! Mon "freakin'" Mothma! If you read my Force Awakens review, you know how much I love Mon Mothma. Ever since Force Awakens I have been researching & searching and investigating and trying to figure out if Mon Mothma died when the New Republic was destroyed. Apparently not. It seems the latest novel sheds some light on Mon Mothma's fate. It's very close to the original EU, but with a less happy ending. BOO! Still, I am ecstatic that I get some Mon Mothma in Rogue One. Not to mention the main character is named Jyn! Yeah, I freaking LOVE that. It's like all my Star Wars wishes are coming true.

I seriously cannot wait to see this film! What do you guys think? Did you participate in Star Wars Day or Free Comic Book Day? Let me know by commenting below!
Monday, January 04, 2016
Star Wars Force Awakens Review : C minus
April 2016
I have had the chance to watch this film at least 10 times now. I would probably move it up to a B-. I see now that my geekdom had a great influence on how I felt. I DID know too much. I WAS too invested in the Expanded Universe and it made it hard to enjoy what they changed. I still hate what they did with the Force and I still think there were scenes where they didn't need to be all jokey. The one that stands out now is the first interaction Poe has with Kylo where he cracks the "Who talks first" line. It completely ruined the mood that had been established there. Overall, though, it's not as bad as I originally thought. The emotion did eventually come through and Finn got way less annoying. I love Rey even more. (End Update)
First off, if you haven't seen the film yet, leave now. There are SPOILERS. Plot reveals. You will know exactly what happens. You have been warned.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Exciting Xena News
First off, new Xena storylines by one of my favorite comics companies. They did some Xena as well as Xena vs. Ash (Evil Dead) back in the early 2000s, but the art was a little to T & A and the stories didn't feel authentically Xena. It was a good try though. I really feel many of these companies are starting to catch on to what matters in a property now, so I'm very hopeful.
I think this fandom is really going to make Xena happen. Nerdist, Huffpo, and numerous other entertainment and media outlets are reinforcing the hard work of Xenites to reunite the Warrior Princess & her Bard. A new comic series will just boost that even more.
The recent disaster of the "Jem & the Holograms" movie is a clear signal to studios that fans no longer accept reboots or other reimaginings in name only. It must be true to the source material and the people working on it have to understand it, otherwise it will fail. It will fail hard. Money will be lost. Let's hope both Dynamite Comics as well as NBCUniversal understand this and have been paying attention.
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Painting & Fighting
I'm painting. I've been painting. It's been difficult. I've lost much of my motor memory. I've forgotten how to see clearly. I get tired more quickly. I'm not 25 anymore. I'm not even 39.
Resistance is an interesting thing. It takes many forms. I regret nothing though. Getting out of the machine saved my life. Finding my rhythm has required more patience than I had estimated.
This is real. I am doing art. All day if I want. It's amazing. Also, terrifying. I was so used to being efficient & scheduled. Art is neither. Being professional is. Being a freelance artist requires a balance of the two.
I'm still falling down now & then, but I'm getting back up every time. I get scared sometimes. Scared that I've lost some intangable thing I had before I entered the machine. Scared that something broke inside of me. I know that just resistance lying to me.
I've met some goals. I've had to reassess some things. I have to keep telling myself that art is a real job. I just have to keep moving forward. I sleep too much. It's part of the resistance. That and I was really, really, really tired. It's 3:38 am. I'm painting. Tomorrow I will paint again.
Art is a real job.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Studio
Finally, the studio is a studio again. My depression and chronic stress from the horrible job I was stuck in is in the past. I'm a full-time artist now.
This year has been amazing. Things just fell together.
I work 15 hrs at an Art Museum just to cover my benefits, but other than that, all the rest of my time is time to create.
T & I have switched some responsibilities around. I now do all the grocery shopping. It's been nice. I can go during the day when the stores aren't crowded. This has reduced T's stress as well. No more fighting to get to and thru the store right after work.
I will start posting here more often now.
Cheers!
Thursday, January 01, 2015
Happy New Year - 2015
Well, here we are. 2015. The year of awesome things to come. New Star Wars film, new Avengers film, new job as a Graphic Designer, my first full year of my 40's.
Day one is cold and overcast with a chance of ice and possibly some snow later this weekend.
I'm happy to be sitting in a toasty warm house with someone who loves me and two warm pups. I had a nice hot bath and a nice filling lunch. I pre-salted the front porch and driveway, raked up leaves around our newer little Blue Princess Holly shrubs, and built a mound of leaves just for the pups.
T and I prepared Gingerbread dough, which is chilling right now, in order to bake cookies later tonight.
Mmmm...fresh Gingerbread.
T starts her first real teaching gig in less than two weeks. A College instructor. She's a badass lady.
Xena Con, the last one EVER, is a little less than two months away. I'm already nervous and excited.
I got an adorable Hello Kitty card from my wonderful Japanese friend Kumi just yesterday to start the New Year off with a reminder of just how fortunate I am to have such wonderful, kind, and loving people in my life.
I hope you all have a fantastic 2015.
I can't wait to get back to the gym and really push myself there as well as pushing myself to create, draw, or paint every single day.
This it it folks. Let's make it count and let's keep it positive.
Love.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Goonie Calendar is Good E'Nuff
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Glen A. Larson Tribute Extended Version
Glen A. Larson wrote, produced and created some of the greatest imaginative shows of my childhood. Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, Knight Rider, and Battlestar to name a few. He passed away the 14th of November. I can't imagine life without those shows. As an artist and a dreamer they inspired me in so many ways. Thanks Mr. Larson. If there is an afterlife, I know someone who will be eager to chat you up and talk Battlestar once you get there.
Monday, September 15, 2014
Things that make you feel LEGIT
Friday, June 20, 2014
The Mother of Dragons
Monday, May 19, 2014
Godzilla is still King of the Monsters
Friday, May 02, 2014
Gamera!
Thursday, May 01, 2014
Guardians of the Galaxy Statue
Kotobukiya has produced a great statue of the fearless mammal.





























