Thursday, February 16, 2012

Deep Breaths & Baby Steps

Okay, well, this has been a bit of a surreal & insane year already. Xena Con 2012 & the moment this Xenite fangirl has waited her whole life for, followed very quickly by the untimely & rather sudden death of one of my family. Not blood related family, but family family. You know, those people that love you because they want to, not because they have to. For me, this person was one of my rocks.

T & I have learned we don't do real well with this type of thing when we are both connected to the person we've lost. It's always been one of us being strong for the other. This time...damn, I tell you what, my eyes feel bruised from all the crying, & I still don't know which way is up & I'm not sure if I have helped her at all.

So, Saturday we are going to celebrate our friend, laugh & cry some more & try to figure out how to find up.

I feel like I haven't been able to get my footing at all this year.

T has her final project to get her Master's due & is so stressed out she's started having panic attacks.

This really isn't the way I expected things to be going.

We've got quite the fight on our hands.

That's just the way it goes sometimes though, right? I remember why I tell myself never to make plans. Something always happens. I don't care though. I am already making new ones.

Looking to the future. Which right now seems rather ominous & frightening & less fun. I'm sure once we break through this dark cloud, the sunshine & rainbows will still be there.

The first plan I have made is to go to this: Spectrum Fantastic Art Live

They have a Social Media Site page as well, if you wanna click on over & check that out.

Two artists that really inspire me are going to be there. Brom & Mike Mignola.

As well as Android Jones.

There will be talks & portfolio reviews & hob-knobbing & such. I have nothing this year, but I can go this year & look, observe & understand. Research what & how & get fully prepared for next year. I can ask questions in order to help set myself up for success. For real.

I have already set myself a goal of three new works completed & posted to my website BEFORE the Convention.

THIS is the year. No matter what I get thrown at me. Things change this year. I change this year. I become who I was meant to be.

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