Thursday, July 15, 2010

Art & Love

So, I have approx. 2 months to really get things going for the Art show I managed to snag. What Art show, you ask? Why the Art show I have in October at Coffeeslingers in downtown OKC. No, for real, I finally have my own show. At first I was nervous, but then I was like, nah, I can do this, & then I was like, I need to think about what I want to do, and now I'm like, Holy crap!!! I have an Art show in two months!

I must admit, just having one has spurred on the creativity. Slowly it creeps back from the depths it was been pushed down to by retail & the pointless creative-less redundant workplaces. I feel it rising, slowly pulling itself up to stand on its own two or four or sixteen feet again. It feels so nice. Hell, it feels. There was a time where I was afraid it was dead. I was afraid it was broken or dead. It's not.

It's been a weird experience though. I've never really thought so much about what I paint. My stuff isn't exactly the kind of stuff people want to hang on their wall. It's all emotionally based reactive art. By reactive, I mean based on my reaction to things. Not shock art. So much of it is about things we, as a whole, don't like to look at. Oil spills, war, theology, politics, social issues & inner conflict & turmoil. Not flowers or hay bales in a field. I look at it & think, "Are they going to let me hang this?", "Will this cause the coffee house owners to have to put up with crappy comments from customers?" I certainly hope not. Then again, it would be creating conversation & perhaps an exchange of ideas. Still, I'm not trying to incite negativity, just thoughts. The negative/positive depends on the viewer really.

It's a little scary. I don't expect people to "like" my work. I do want them to see it though. If it sets off just one person's brain, then I'll be happy.

I used to be too scared to show anything to anyone other than my friends. Afraid the world out there would think I was crazy & lock me away or dismiss me altogether. Luckily, one of those friends that has been over a hundred times, has never stopped encouraging me to try. That's really amazing. To keep encouraging me for the last 15 years & never giving up. Over & over again, trying to talk me into it. Sending me articles or links to little shows here & there. I can honestly say, I owe this show to her. To her & T. T for just putting up with me for 14 years. It's not easy living with an Aspie (person with Asperger's), but she's done an amazing job of teaching me how to communicate & be more social. I've also got some really amazing people in my life. People who are still fighting to make their dreams come true. We gather together at least once a month & vent our frustrations & share our desires & support each others attempts. I know, in my heart of hearts, that one day, we will all be where we want to be. These people are too amazing not to make it happen. All of us just have to cast off all the BS we were taught & keep working toward the goal. Happily ever after is possible. Look around. It's there. You see it all the time. Society tells you it's only the lucky ones, but the one's telling you that are the ones that gave up. Never give up. Never stop trying. There are millions, let me repeat, MILLIONS of people living their dreams.

Seriously. I'm not kidding. Think about all the singers, songwriters, screenplay writers, special effects artists, painters, writers, guitar players, dancers, orchestra directors, zoologists, entomologists, and millions of other occupations that people do & love. Sure, maybe you don't know their names & maybe they don't make a million billion dollars, but they are happy & pretty well off. They are doing what they chose to do with their life & they love it. For every JK Rowling or Stephen King, there are hundreds of thousands of writers you've never heard of. All of them successfully selling book after book & paying their mortgage. Society tends to only focus on the mega stars. Being famous or a mega star isn't what it's about. Doing what you love is. Don't let them scare you. Never let anyone tell you that you can't do something you dream of, & only surround yourself with people that love & understand you.

I'm blessed to have so much love in my life. And understanding. I'm not an easy one to understand sometimes.

Now, back to the painting. I only have two months to get this all together!!!!


Chris said...

Oh, yeah, she's totally amazing! I can't believe your show is almost here. We go into Coffeeslingers twice a week (sometimes three), and we can't help but think of you...every.single.time.

I'm surrounded by all kinds of talented, smart people, and I know we all feel frustrated with our creative endeavors from time to time, but I'm so glad to have all of you guys in my life because picking myself up, dusting myself off, and getting back on the horse would be so much harder without all of you.

See you on Saturday!

ChromePlatedGirl said...

Go, Jen, Go!
After I read your page with the black background, then switch back over to my white background paperwork stuff, the world seems all pulsey and sparkly.
I really wanted to turn that into an analogy about your smile and your dreams and you positive attitude from this post, but eloquence has left me for the day.
Anyway...see you this weekend, I hope!!!!!!!