Hey, Wrasslin' fans....

If you grew up in the 80's & watched Pro Wrestling, you know who the dude in the pic is. One of the greatest & shortest-lived (in terms of career) wrestlers the WWF had ever seen. Personally, he was my favorite. Now, if you can get past his current extremist nutjob world views & look past the fact that he legally changed his name to Warrior, you might be interested in purchasing this iconic action figure of him to relive some of the greatest matches of the late 80's/early 90's. I gave all my warrior stuff to the Goodwill a long time ago. Honestly, the guy scares me. He's cuckoo for cocoa puffs, you know what I mean?

The figure runs $26.99 over at Entertainment Earth.

The Doctors Fob Watch Replica (Metal)

There was an exact replica of the watch of the Doctor from Doctor Who out before, but it was made of plastic. This one claims to be metal. Now, I'm sure for $49.99 it's super cheap pot metal, but hey, at least it ain't plastic, right? Entertainment Earth has them available for pre-order right now, with a release date of June 2011. Hey, That's just in time for my amazing sidekick's Birthday. Shhh....don't tell her.

Please donate!

I rarely ever ask anyone to donate to anything, but I'm pretty passionate about this one. The Little River Zoo is located right outside Norman, Oklahoma. The Little River Zoo is run by people passionate about saving exotic & local animals. The description on their website reads: "The Zoo sits on 50+ acres located in Norman near the beautiful and award winning Lake Thunderbird Resort area. It is surrounded by an endangered ecosystem call the Cross Timber Forest, one of the last remaining ancient forests of North America. Fed by the natural waters of the Garber-Wellington Aquafir, the zoo is peaceful, comforting setting where visitors feel completely in harmony with nature."




Recently they have been struggling to stay afloat & give the 350 animals in their care all the help & resources they need. They get no federal or state money & are run 100% by donation.



Please head over to their website: Little River Zoo and check them out.

Please, if you can spare even $5.00 it helps these people feed the little fur babies & keep them warm throughout the winter. If you don't like to donate money, they also have a list of supplies they really need.



The photos in this post are all of animals that the Little River Zoo are taking care of right now. Please, anything you can donate really helps. Once you get to the website, scroll down & you will find a paypal donate button. Click on it & in less than 5 minutes you can really help these guys continue to be able to do the hard work they do. Thank you.


All animal photos copyright by youngest son via Flickr as found here: YoungestSonFlickr

work out

So I am slowly beginning to understand that I have pretty severe anxiety. This really shouldn't be a surprise, having Asperger's and all, but I guess it has never been quite as bad in the past as it has the last 3 or 4 years of my life. When the Doc told me my throat swelling, heart fluttering, chest tightening was anxiety, I thought he was just being an ass & being lazy, writing me off as some hypochondriac. Perhaps, he thought I was some sort of Kook. Many of my friends are on anxiety meds. I started thinking about it. Really trying to figure out how on earth I could have ended up one of these people with so much stress & anxiety in their life.

I thought about work. It's not that bad. The constant interruptions & inability to be able to focus on one task at a time make it a little frustrating for an Aspie like me, but at least all the people I work extremely closely with get me & understand that my weird outbursts are due to frustration & Asperger's & not just because I'm some sort of drama queen, attention seeker, or sociopath & they are smart enough & knowledgeable enough NOT to take them personally or feel they are even slightly directed at them. I do have to watch my bluntness & have learned it is best not to say anything. The awkwardness of not answering is better than the ramifications of answering honestly sometimes. Especially to faculty. People are not looking for honesty, only immediate gratification & reassurance that it is not their fault & it is completely someone else's fault. Sad, but true.

Then I figured it out. I'm not active. I used to be active constantly. Even at the old bookstore job, I was working out my muscles 8 hours a day. Moving 40 to 50 pound boxes of books helped really work out anxiety, giving me a sense of calm. It was once they started forcing me away from that task that my anxiety increased. Before that job I was a dishwasher, a stage crew set-up & tear down person & even at the toy store I was constantly opening & merchandising & moving. I used to ride a bicycle all the time & I worked out at least four one hour sessions a week. On top of that, I painted for hours.

Now I sit in a comfy chair in an office setting, don't own a bicycle, don't work out enough to do anything & my painting time is in serious jeopardy. Thus the increase in the anxiety. I basically am having panic attacks every week. I didn't realize that what was happening. The depression I am in is also due to all of the problems all the anxiety has caused. So right now, I am in this vicious little circle of self-destruction.

I have a plan.

It starts one pull-up at a time.

Not feeling like I know enough

College Work - "Warrior Sonja" Linoleum block print

So most of the time I feel like I know what I'm doing. It's once I'm finished with the part I know that I am unsure of what to do. For instance, I know how to paint. I'm no Michaelangelo, but I do pretty good. Once the painting is finished though, we have a problem. Framing, pricing, & figuring out what the hell to do with it. Funny, they didn't teach me any of that in school. Even funnier, I already knew how to paint BEFORE I went to school. So what exactly did I get for over $40,000? A few pointers & tips I could have picked up for $79 at a vo-tech school?

So, I sort of have the framing down & with the new router my brother got me for the holidays I should be able to make my own frames from here on out.

The pricing thing is a real problem though. I've heard $25.00 to $35.00 an hr. plus supplies. I've heard the same minus supplies. I found this article, but it doesn't answer all my questions. I've been know to finish a piece in a couple hours. I've been told I am really fast. I get an idea & try to get it on canvas or board as quickly as possible before it fades. So how do I charge for these? $50.00 for 2 hrs work + a $2.00 piece of board + maybe $10.00 in paint with no frame = $62.00. Really? I guess that seems right. Then again, some paintings take me days. 16 hrs of work = $400.00. That seems high. Also, do I count the time it takes me to build a frame if I frame it? Add in that cost & the frame materials cost & we are getting close to $600.00. That seems a little silly for my stuff. Maybe after I get some shows or publicity it would seem reasonable, but not now. See how confusing it is?

Angel - college work - Etching

Another part of my dilemma is that I don't know if I care enough to try to figure all this out. I am getting really sick of staring at my own work hanging on my own walls. I've started moving more & more of it to the attic, which is ironic, because I always had a fear that someone would buy my work & it would end up in their attic.
Ugh. It's beginning to become overwhelming & a negative aspect, rather than something I love. I've got art coming out my ears. I want it out. All of it. Out of my sight. I'm tempted to give it all away, but I really don't think anyone would want most of it. A couple things sure, but not the huge mass of it. So what do I do with all of it?

High School work - Dragon Protector - Watercolor & Pen & Ink

That's problem three. I need space. Do I trash the old stuff? What do you do with art you've piled up for 30 years that no one wants? I suppose I could use it for fire pit fuel. It might be a little spiritual to burn it all.

I guess my point is I always feel like I know just enough to not know enough about almost everything. I have no idea how to learn the stuff I need to know to get any further along than I am now. So I feel stuck & a little stupid & a little lost, okay, a lot lost, with no direction.



Poseidon - high school work - watercolor & Pen & Ink

Featured Artist Goomi.

"Corpus I" by Goomi

Wow. I found another artist that just floors me. His name is François Launet, nicknamed Goomi. His stuff is in the same vein as Alex CF. Very Lovecraftian & macabre.



Azathoth I by Goomi

He was born in France in '71 & works as an SFX Supervisor. Very cool. Go check him out here: Goomi



Bunkerplasm by Goomi

Think Geek sale

Yep, Think Geek is also having a sale. No fancy name containing some overblown or explosive word though. Thank goodness. Just Clearance sale.

Here's a few examples of what they are offering.

The cool Personal Soundtrack shirt.

50% off at $19.99!

Or what about the 11th Doctor Who's screwdriver. It actually IS a screwdriver!



Originally $29.99, now only $19.99.

There's lots more good stuff to look at over at their site: THINKGEEK

Entertainment Earth Sale

So, there is a pretty good sale going on over on the Entertainment Earth site. They are having a "Winter Blowout", which sounds painful. Head on over & check it out. Here are some of the items I'm considering snatching up:

The EE Exclusive Signed Alex Ross Flash Gordon Action Figure
Signed by Sam J. Jones and also includes The Art of Alex Ross Sketchbook
Limited to 375 pieces. $12.60 on sale!



Star Wars 4-LOM ArtFX Statue. 11 inches tall. Regularly $109.99, now $60.33.




How about a Batman Family Statue #3
The third in a series of interlocking statues features Batwoman and Commissioner Gordon.
Limited edition of 2,000 pieces.
9-inches tall x 7-inches wide x 5-inches long, while the entire multi-part statue measures about 11-inches tall x 17-inches wide x 11 1/2-inches long when fully assembled. It is hand-painted, cold-cast porcelain.

There are two other statues that connect with this one. Part 1 features Robin and Catwoman reclining on a gargoyle and Part 2 contains the characters Huntress and Nightwing. The bases of each piece slide together to form a shot of the entire Batman family on a rooftop overlooking Gotham. You must have all three statues to make Batman.



Was $149.99, now only $99.75.

See, it really is a sale!

Another Sketch

Yet another sketch of an item put up over at the Artist Biker. He has a link to his Flickr site as well, where you can join & post your sketches.

Find it here: ArtisticBikerFlickr

Ant in a coat.

So a friend of mine told a little story about her son. She posted, "He was watching the sidewalk as we went in and he said, "momma, where are the ants? I can't see them?' I said 'its too cold for the ants'. He kept walking and said 'well they need to put there coats on'...

I instantly imagined an ant with a coat on. I decided to draw one for him & post it to his Momma's site. While I was at it, I thought I'd share it here as well.

Artist Biker's Drawing exercise

Artist Biker has a blog where he post pictures of things to draw. This was today's. A sofa. Drawn by yours truly. I didn't get it finished.

Within Temptation

In this world you tried,
Not leaving me alone behind.
There's no other way,
I pray to the gods let him stay.
The memories ease the pain inside,
And now I know why.

All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments,
Imagining you here.
All of my memories keep you near,
In silent whispers, silent tears

Made me promise I'd try,
To find my way back in this life.
Hope there is a way,
To give me a sign you're okay.
Reminds me again it's worth it all,
So I can go home.

All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments,
Imagining you here.
All of my memories keep you near.
In silent whispers, silent tears.

Together in all these memories,
I see your smile.
All of the memories I hold dear.
Darling you know I'll love you,
Til the end of time.

All of my memories keep you near
In silent moments,
Imagining you here.
All of my memories keep you near,
In silent whispers, silent tears.

All of my memories...

Band Website Here

When I grow up...

Ever since I was three years old I have known what I wanted to be. I never questioned it. I was an artist. I drew, painted & sculpted every chance I got. I was driven.

It's 2011, I'm 36, and suddenly I'm not sure anymore.

This is very strange for me. I have no drive, no goals, nothing to look forward to, nothing to work toward & quite frankly am having a very difficult time figure out what the hell the point is.

There didn't need to be a point before. The passion & the drive were enough.

Most of my ideas were fueled by the vivid dreams I would have every night. Now, I don't dream. I go to bed & wake up. In between there is just blackness.

I'm definitely down. Probably more than it seems on the outside. I'm struggling. I just don't get it. Have I failed? Did I mess up somewhere? Am I even an artist at all or have I been pretending for 33 years? Art is such a joke nowadays. Of course, maybe that's part of it. Maybe art was always a joke. Maybe the teachers I had just elevated its importance. Maybe I bought into it.

I've never sold a single thing. My technique is old & stale. I've stop growing & improving. I'm far below the level I should be for 36. My stuff looks dated. The digital world is invading & trampling traditional illustration & commercial art & I am so far behind in that area.

I can't make any money. Now, money is far from the point, but I simply cannot live off of making art. My job is non-art related & sucks what little passion arises from time to time right out of me.

I'm superstitious as well. I injured the one part of my body that I really need to make art. My right shoulder & arm. I landed an art show & had it canceled two days before it opened. I've never sold anything. No one wants to pay for my art. (Except you Chrome. I will get you a price.) So really...isn't the universe telling me that maybe, just maybe, I should go do something else?

For the first time in my life, I have no idea what to do & quite honestly, I'm not sure what I want to be when I grow up.

I don't know if I want to be an artist.

I just want to sleep. For months. Or years. I want everything to go away. I want a do over.

I want to dream again.

Gentle Giant is overhauling...

Gentle Giant is overhauling their website. It's a good thing. Their site was really dated & a little unfun to navigate. If I were you, I head on over there tomorrow or Thursday & check it out. For now, here's one of the things you can look forward to them releasing this year.



Darth Vader Force Unleashed Mini Bust - US$59.99

Futurama Plushies!!!

Futurama plush figures have arrived & are available from Entertainment Earth for $24.99 a piece. ACK! What?! Seriously, again I ask, do these "collectible" & toy manufacturers know we are in a "GREAT RECESSION"???


They are about 11" tall & created by Toynami .

So, if you are rolling in money, feel free to shell out $25.00 for a stuffed Zoidberg, Bender, or Nibbler. Really, $25.00??? $10.00 I could see, but $25.00? These things are made in China, right? They cost you what Toynami, 5 cents a piece to make?



Anyhoo, if you want 'em, there they are. Personally, I suggest going here, KIVA, and spending your $25.00 to better the world. That's just me though.

240 hours

I have 240 hours of Paid Leave. 6 days of a regular 8 hour shift. I've only had this job since July of last year. 6 Days. I think I'll take them. I don't know when. It's like having a 50 dollar bill of Birthday or Christmas money in your pocket. You had things you kept telling yourself you wanted, but now that you have the money, you can't remember a single one of them. You fight not to blow the whole wad on something immediately.

There's the SXSW thing in Austin. It's during Spring Break though, so the beach would be filled with drunk teenagers & 20 somethings. Not to mention the price tag. Eek.

There's the San Diego Comic Con July 21-24th. This seems like a great time to go somewhere, but again...the price tag once you include airfare & room, gets a little steep. Still, it might be a good way to really feel out California, since there's a chance it is in our future. T & I. We've been to San Francisco & Sacramento. I loved San Fran. I was surprised by how small it felt. People love to argue with me about that. How can you argue how something felt with someone? It just did to me. Small & cozy. I think we should go to LA for a day while we're up there. I know it's halfway across the state, but that's closer than halfway across the country.

Of course there is Star Wars Celebration VI as well. Rumored to be in Salt Lake City this year. A place I have no desire to ever see, in a state that I could care less about ever visiting.

There's also the family trip to the Carolina Beach. I'm going to need more than 6 days for that. That sure sounds nice though. Beach. Quiet. Family. It sure is a long way to drive. Leela will need a sitter. Of course, she'll need a sitter no matter what I choose.

Hmmm....decisions, decisions. 240 hours & counting.

2011

First off, thank the gods or whatever that 2010 is over. Seriously, it sucked. Probably the worst year of my adult life. It's over. Fin. Done. Good riddance.

2011 is here. I greet it with no idea what will happen & for the first time in my life, no real sense of direction. I always knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, but it hasn't really worked out too well. This is the year I'm going to decide. I am going to do some research on joining the police department, teaching, law, and book illustration. Then, I'm going to commit to one.

I'm going to get in shape, stop drinking caffeine, stop eating so much sugar & cook more.

I'm going to have more me time.

I'm not going to worry about politics or the world. Screw it. Let the people who are able to do something, do it. I need to concentrate on myself right now & stop chasing shadows.

I'm going to learn how to do something new this year. Maybe take the electrician classes at Moore/Norman.

I had so many goals, ideas & enthusiasm for 2010 & instead ended up in physical therapy & doctors offices all year. I was in more pain than I have been my entire life. I slept more than I ever have. The pain was exhausting. I had incredible ups, like finally landing a legit cool place for an art show, & incredible lows, when two days before the show I'm informed they replaced me.

I found out I was allergic to chocolate, cloves, nuts, nutmeg, cinnamon, & the list just keeps getting longer.

That's all over now. It's done & gone & I'm not going to dwell on it. I welcome you, 2011. Let's do this thing. Whatever it is.

I hope each & every one of you has the best year of your life so far.