What? What!? WHAT!?!

So, I finally got to see Scorpions live. I was super excited. All my life I have waited to let the sounds of "Winds of Change" roll over me at an outside venue as they played it for the crowd. I sat eagerly waiting for it, song after song. I rocked out to "Big City Nights" & "Rock You Like A Hurricane" and then the band said good night. I wasn't worried. There would be an encore. All these rock bands do encores. Especially if this is the last show ever in Oklahoma. They are retiring after this tour. Then the lights came on. The stage hands & roadies descended upon the stage.

What?

No way. What just happened?! What!? No, no, no. This was impossible! How on earth could this be happening? "Winds of Change" was #2 on the US Mainstream Rock Chart in 1990.

I was stunned. Shocked. They had failed to play the one song I had so longed to hear. A song cemented in my memory. A song that, still to this day, makes me tear up. In fact, they didn't play anything from the "Crazy World" album. No "Tease Me, Please Me" or "Send Me an Angel" or "Don't Believe Her". All top 15 US hits. From other albums they failed to play "Rhythm of Love" & "Woman".

Seriously...what just happened?

So away I sulked. Thank the gods Cinderella was freakin' awesome! LA Guns was right on as well. So there ya go. I've seen Scorpions live. Honestly...I wouldn't go see them again even if they weren't retiring. I'd see Cinderella tomorrow.

Despite my let down, "Winds of Change" remains permanently fixed with my memory of the Berlin Wall crumbling. I guess I'll just have to accept that the video is the only way I'll ever get to see them play it & just light my lighter up when it comes on. Maybe get a fan & place it in front of my laptop outside as I hit the play button on youtube.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Rock N America

Ho boy, Am I getting excited!? Yes! I am about to attend a three day concert of nothing but old school metal. I finally get to see all these bands I missed. Twisted Sister, Scorpions, Lita Ford, Bullet Boys, Pretty Boy Floyd, LA Guns, Steelheart, Lizzy Borden, Warrant (minus Janie Lane), Faster Pussycat, Trixter...and the list goes on.

It's an outside venue. Now Oklahoma in late July is like a skillet. It's gonna be hot. Still, I'm glad it's outside. You better believe I'm pulling out the lighter when Scorpions start wailing "Winds of Change". I'll probably cry. That song is forever tied to my memories of the Berlin wall crumbling down & all of those people finally uniting with lost loved ones. It's about possibilities & peace. Cheesy...maybe, but it's how I feel.

I've always had this dream of one big giant metal concert. This is close to that dream. My list would be much bigger & include bands like Doro Pesch & Iron Maiden, but this ain't bad. Ratt, Dokken, Slaughter, & Cinderella are going to be there too. I've seen all these bands, but I don't mind seeing them again. Especially Cinderella. In my opinion, one of the most under-rated bands ever.

So, here I am all excited, and now....I just have to wait.

Rock on Metalheads! See ya there!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Coffee House

I'm in a local coffee shop. It has a really cool old wooden door with small panes of glass & a big heavy brass door handle. There's a sign on the outside of the door that politely asks that you park across the street if you are going to stay a while. That's where I parked my black motorcycle. It's a really large spot with art painted on the walls that border the back of it. It's also easier to get out of then trying to back up with oncoming traffic coming at you.

There are two middle-aged women sitting next to the object of my attention, but a space left just for me. They have all taken up residence on a chocolate colored cloth couch in the very back of the coffee house. I plop my backpack down next to hers, say hello, and take the empty space up on the couch. The two middle-aged women are chatting like parrots as she rises & asks what she can get me. I smile & request my usual as I notice the women are dressed much younger than they are in t-shirts & Capri pants. They both sport extremely short haircuts, with the blond woman's being a little more daring with a bit of hair gel used to spike it up a bit. It's obvious she likes attention. She shifts in her seat constantly & uses her hands to talk. The other woman, who has dyed black hair, is more timid. She seems a little uncomfortable, almost embarrassed by her friend's bravado. I hear tidbits about yoga instructors, work, etc.

For some reason the blonde woman feels compelled to loudly announce that she parked out front rather than parking in the lot across the street as the little sign on the door suggested. The other woman looks embarrassed & admits she did as well. They discuss whether they should move their vehicles. Of course, they have no intention of even attempting to move their vehicles. This stage play is all for my benefit. Well, me & my companion. These types of plays are the worst. If I wanted to see a melodramatic play put on by bad actors I'd go catch a middle school play. Although I think middle school kids are quite a bit better. On & on they go. I've never really grasped what this does for people. I guess it's a way to admit you've done something in order to escape being called out & shamed by it.

Suddenly, the dark-haired women gets up & announces she needs to visit the restroom. I think the blonde woman's loud admission has slightly embarrassed the other woman & she seeks the restroom as a refuge to gather herself. As she walks to the door marked Womens, the other one flamboyantly waves her arms around & shouts that she's going to check on the cars. Check on the cars? Really? They need checked on? So outside she goes. What a show. The silence lasts only about 30 seconds. Once the two are reunited, the show starts again. Funny, I came to get coffee, not for a show.

"No tickets or slashed tires!" shouts the blonde woman much louder than she needs to for her friend to hear her as she walks by me. Sigh...really? Slashed tires? Oh the drama! The darker haired woman smiles & tries to ignore her over-dramatization. They fall back into their gossipy conversation about other people. I over hear comments about a friend's snide remarks & concrete thinking & how she gives & gives but her friend never listens when she tries to talk about her problems & her life. Somehow, I doubt it.

You know, I don't like to talk about people. I didn't come in here with the intention of talking about people. I like to talk about other things. Things like the universe or what amazingly weird insect I discovered today, or why Crepe Myrtles are named Crepe Myrtles. I enjoy topics on volcanoes, or weather patterns, or Star Wars & it's influence on culture & society. Talking about people is so overrated & boring. It always seems to be negative as well. People that talk about other people never go around spouting about how wonderful other people are. You never over hear things like, "She's amazing! She always listens to me & is there when I need her. I can't imagine what I'd do without her.", or things like, "My husband spoils me. I am so lucky to have someone who understands me so deeply." Isn't that odd?

I find it even harder to block them out when I hear the word "Artist" froth from their rabid mouths. I'm an artist. People usually have very interesting things to say about artists. Damn, they've pulled me in. I continue writing in my little sketchbook, changing nothing, as if I don't hear them. Of course if they are transparent to me, I'm sure I am just as transparent in my act. They critique his art by viewing paintings the blonde has stored on her phone. First up for consideration is a painting of a woman. At least they think it's a woman. The blonde boasts that he is the top artist in the state & received thousands in scholarships. Oh, and he's dating someone she's related to. The second painting is called, "What Time is It?". The dark haired woman looks confused. The blonde woman tries to explain why he is so good, but it's clear that neither of them really get art. I would like to look this kid's work up. Being an artist myself, I'd be interested to see the "top" artist in the state. The blonde explains that he painted it to capture the moment he fell in love with Mariah. Oh, Mariah must be the blonde woman's daughter. He posted it on FaceBook and only he & her know what the title alludes to. Um...not anymore buddy.

Why am I listening to this? I try to get back to my thinking & writing. Then I hear tidbits of the conversation & conclude that now they have switched to a conversation about love & relationships. Something about why wait & marriage. I smile & laugh a little inside. Marriage has absolutely nothing to do with love. If it's love, true love, there is no rush. It won't magically disappear if you don't grasp it in your hands & hold onto it. You won't lose it. It'll wait forever if it is really love. With those thoughts I look over at the person sitting to my left. Someone I can sit with in silence. Someone that no words need be spoken to. We can simply sit & write & create & be so deeply connected. We sip our yummy coffee drinks & write, creating new worlds & new images never before seen. No gossip. No negativity. Just two people who love each other left in a coffee house on a chocolate couch as the 40 something drama queens exit & leave us in silence.

The end.

My blog.

I think my blog is bipolar.

Monday, July 19, 2010

New job....same old crap.

So, I just switched positions within the same dept. recently. I am now considered an admin. asst./receptionist. I hate it. No, really. I'm a month in & I absolutely loathe it. This is bad. My art show is coming up in October & this job is zapping me. I have to stare at spreadsheets all day & when I get home I can't focus my eyes anymore for my art work. In fact, it's hard to focus at all on anything. I absolutely despise Excel. How on earth do people do it? How do they enter data constantly. It makes me uptight, tense, moody & gives me headaches. The fact that it is messing with my ability to focus when I get home is really getting me down.

I have no idea what to do.

I am not going to want to be here much longer. I'll be lucky to make it a year. I know, I probably sound whiny & spoiled, & I should be happy to have a job, but I'm not happy. The benefits are nice, but this job is not for me. It is not helping me reach my goals.

Again, I have no idea what to do.

All I know right now is that I better figure something out or this is going to end badly. The old job wasn't any better. It was for a while, but it got bad too. The constant negativity & put downs where bad for my self esteem. Now the esteem is good but the health & creativity are being drained away.

This sucks.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Art & Love

So, I have approx. 2 months to really get things going for the Art show I managed to snag. What Art show, you ask? Why the Art show I have in October at Coffeeslingers in downtown OKC. No, for real, I finally have my own show. At first I was nervous, but then I was like, nah, I can do this, & then I was like, I need to think about what I want to do, and now I'm like, Holy crap!!! I have an Art show in two months!

I must admit, just having one has spurred on the creativity. Slowly it creeps back from the depths it was been pushed down to by retail & the pointless creative-less redundant workplaces. I feel it rising, slowly pulling itself up to stand on its own two or four or sixteen feet again. It feels so nice. Hell, it feels. There was a time where I was afraid it was dead. I was afraid it was broken or dead. It's not.

It's been a weird experience though. I've never really thought so much about what I paint. My stuff isn't exactly the kind of stuff people want to hang on their wall. It's all emotionally based reactive art. By reactive, I mean based on my reaction to things. Not shock art. So much of it is about things we, as a whole, don't like to look at. Oil spills, war, theology, politics, social issues & inner conflict & turmoil. Not flowers or hay bales in a field. I look at it & think, "Are they going to let me hang this?", "Will this cause the coffee house owners to have to put up with crappy comments from customers?" I certainly hope not. Then again, it would be creating conversation & perhaps an exchange of ideas. Still, I'm not trying to incite negativity, just thoughts. The negative/positive depends on the viewer really.

It's a little scary. I don't expect people to "like" my work. I do want them to see it though. If it sets off just one person's brain, then I'll be happy.

I used to be too scared to show anything to anyone other than my friends. Afraid the world out there would think I was crazy & lock me away or dismiss me altogether. Luckily, one of those friends that has been over a hundred times, has never stopped encouraging me to try. That's really amazing. To keep encouraging me for the last 15 years & never giving up. Over & over again, trying to talk me into it. Sending me articles or links to little shows here & there. I can honestly say, I owe this show to her. To her & T. T for just putting up with me for 14 years. It's not easy living with an Aspie (person with Asperger's), but she's done an amazing job of teaching me how to communicate & be more social. I've also got some really amazing people in my life. People who are still fighting to make their dreams come true. We gather together at least once a month & vent our frustrations & share our desires & support each others attempts. I know, in my heart of hearts, that one day, we will all be where we want to be. These people are too amazing not to make it happen. All of us just have to cast off all the BS we were taught & keep working toward the goal. Happily ever after is possible. Look around. It's there. You see it all the time. Society tells you it's only the lucky ones, but the one's telling you that are the ones that gave up. Never give up. Never stop trying. There are millions, let me repeat, MILLIONS of people living their dreams.

Seriously. I'm not kidding. Think about all the singers, songwriters, screenplay writers, special effects artists, painters, writers, guitar players, dancers, orchestra directors, zoologists, entomologists, and millions of other occupations that people do & love. Sure, maybe you don't know their names & maybe they don't make a million billion dollars, but they are happy & pretty well off. They are doing what they chose to do with their life & they love it. For every JK Rowling or Stephen King, there are hundreds of thousands of writers you've never heard of. All of them successfully selling book after book & paying their mortgage. Society tends to only focus on the mega stars. Being famous or a mega star isn't what it's about. Doing what you love is. Don't let them scare you. Never let anyone tell you that you can't do something you dream of, & only surround yourself with people that love & understand you.

I'm blessed to have so much love in my life. And understanding. I'm not an easy one to understand sometimes.

Now, back to the painting. I only have two months to get this all together!!!!

Friday, July 02, 2010

The Return of Futurama: A Critique

Good news everyone...

Well, June 24th marked the triumphant return of my favorite TV show to the airwaves. How was it? Awesome & meh. The first episode was pretty good. It did however feel a little different. I can't quite put my finger on it yet. Things just seem a little off. The Planet Express building, New New York, & other familiar places seem a little unfamiliar. It's like walking into a house you lived in for twenty years after someone else has lived there 5 years. It still looks like your old house, but things aren't where you expect them to be. The walls are a different color & someone put wood laminate down where the orange & avocado shag carpet used to be.

The character Leela seems to be completely off. All the other characters seem exactly the same, but not Leela. She's weaker & dumber. Which makes me really sad because she was a really strong character. Sure she had her ditzy moments, but she had very clearly defined character flaws that now seem completely lost. The second episode was completely unbelievable for me because Leela didn't just shove off the log & kick Zapp's ass. She let Zapp pretty much call all the shots & she seemed easily controlled. There was absolutely no sexual tension between the characters & she gave in way too easy to a guy she supposedly hates. The Fry/Leela relationship is also very muddy right now. Are they? Aren't they? Fry's reaction to the Leela/Zapp thing was also unbelievable. All in all it was a very uncomfortable episode to watch & left me with a bad feeling in my gut. That "be careful what you wish for" feeling.

The third episode was better. We got back to addressing pop culture issues which Futurama always did so brilliantly. Still though, the toilet/juvenile humor is much more than it used to be. I liked the smartness of Futurama. The way the show was so good at addressing political, theological, & relevent social commentary. The cohesion of the plot is very lacking & they seem to be trying to get out all the proverbial "fart" jokes they can due to being on Comedy Central, a network that allows more of that sort of thing.

If Futurama doesn't smarten up & lessen the crude humor, I think it's headed in a bad direction. They need to pull the plot together by addressing one or two issues in the sarcasticly smart fashion of the original, find Leela's original personality, & drop the frat boy attitude or it's going to crash & burn.

I know they can do it. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Here's a preview of the episode from this week:
FuturamaThursdays 10pm / 9c
e-Waste Delivery
www.comedycentral.com
Futurama New EpisodesFuturama New EpisodesUgly Americans

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Sleeping Beauty Collectible



Wow! This is gorgeous! This is a box inspired from the movie Sleeping Beauty. In the movie the three good fairies hid their wands inside a box like this so that Briar Rose would not find them. It is sculpted resin with wood grain finish and is about 8'' H x 6'' W x 4 1/2'' D.

There is also a Beauty & the Beast box, shown here:


And a Cinderella collectible/box along the same lines, shown here:


These are all just gorgeous! The Sleeping Beauty one & the Beauty & the Beast one are both around $85.00, while the Cinderella is a bit more affordable at $70.00.

You can find all of these awesome collectibles at THE DISNEY STORE.