Monday, September 13, 2010

sick & tired of being sick & tired

I don't know if I just have so much stress & anxiety in my life that I am causing my body to do weird things or if there is something really wrong with me. The doctor I went to seems to think it's stress & anxiety. Really? It's been a full ten months now that I have been dealing with the "can't swallow, swallowing weird, fatigue in my throat/neck/jaw muscles thing" and nothing seems to make it better. I have days where everything seems fine, but most days I'm not that lucky. Now I have pain in my lungs that comes & goes. My voice gets tired, for lack of a better description, & it makes me so tired. Talking just totally fatigues me. My voice gets lighter & lighter until I feel like it's just going to go away. I used to be a singer. I know the difference between head voice & using your center/core to project & I just can't seem to get enough strength to do it. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe or get deep enough breaths. I'm exhausted ALL the time. I wake up exhausted, go to bed exhausted, and when I come home from work I fall asleep for two or three hours. I've suddenly been getting what most people have told me is shin splints on & off. My shoulder flares up about twice a week & hurts so bad I get that pain haze going on in my brain. The kind that makes you just sort of float through the day. I've never in my life felt this way. I've always had more energy then I knew what to do with. I eat better than most. I walk 30 minutes to an hour a day. Lately I've been getting 8 to 10 hours of sleep a day/night where I used to be good on 6. What is going on? I wish I knew a great doctor or at least one I feel like would listen to me. I've found things on the internet suggesting it could be anything from black mold to MS to Lyme disease to Lou Gehrig's disease to ALS to simply just stress & anxiety. sigh. I just want it to all go away & to have a "normal" day/week/month. 2010 was going to be the year for me. My New Year's resolution was to dig in & make things happen. I wanted my wash board abs back & my Linda Hamilton/Sarah Connor T2 physique back. Instead, I'm struggling to make the dog walk without feeling like I might pass out or die. I don't want to feel this way anymore. It really wears on me. Mentally & physically. I just have no idea where to turn.

4 comments:

Chris said...

Seriously, I'm voting for thyroid problem.

ChromePlatedGirl said...

Has T noticed any weird sleep stuff? Almost all of that could be sleep related. Especially if you're clenching or grinding your jaw...or if you're snoring with your mouth wide open.
Trust me when I tell you that I understand. I've had weird stuff going on for a couple of years and nobody can find anything. And then all of sudden there'll be something new to add to the symptom list. Right now it's a nerve around my eye troubling me.
Weird.

Jen Tucker said...

Don't vote for a thyroid problem! Sheesh. Vote for stress. That's easy to fix.

Chrome- I do grind my teeth & clench my jaw when I sleep. I'm thinking TMJ except I don't get the headaches. I do seriously just hope it's all stress related.

OHM.......OHM........OHM.......

Jen Tucker said...
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