Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Absurd & Obscene & some Funny.

So, we're going to try something. Every time something absurd happens today, I am going to post it on the blog. In this blog entry. It should prove interesting. If I'm lucky, just trying this will keep all the absurdities away. I will have nothing to type & feel silly. If I'm lucky. Okay, let's start...

Absurd thing #1: I had to get gas this morning on the way to work. As I am unlocking the gas cap on the Honda Rebel I ride, a sweaty tattooed rough looking skinny guy asks me how fast I have to pedal to get my motorcycle up to 60 mph. Sigh. It might just be a small 250, but I assure him it'll reach 80 mph. He comments that it's a very small motorcycle. Seriously, though, I don't need a huge motorcycle. I don't need to compensate for anything. I'm not lacking. This was my first human interaction of the day.

Absurd thing #2: Labeling. Why waste your time if it's for other people? No, really. You can go out of your way to make bright shiny stand-out labels with people's names on them & they won't bother to look or read them. Instead, like just happened, they will walk in, walk over to where things usually are kept & start digging through other people's stuff. Everything is clearly marked with clip-on bright pink badges sporting the name of each person that a particular pile of copies belong to. The badges are even facing out so they are easy to read & spot, but no, that won't help. Inevitably, they will rummage through things in a half crazed fashion looking confused & befuzzled. Seriously people, stop. Think. Stand back & LOOK at what is in front of you. If there are words, read them. Don't just read them mindlessly. Read & comprehend them. It will make everyone's life incredibly easier, better, & more positive.

Obscene thing #1: All these wasteful desk accessories. The person before me loved expensive disposable gadgets. For example, I have a tape dispenser that dispenses one piece of tape at a time. You have to buy these special little scotch tape refills & put them in. No more regular ol' tape dispenser. Really? You can't be bothered to tear off a piece of tape? I can't stand the thing. There are so many times I need more than 2" of tape at a time. The refills are costlier than just a regular tape dispenser refill. It just seems silly. I also have an electric stapler. Yep, wave the paper underneath and "BAM!" stapled. Again, you couldn't be bothered to press down a stapler? It runs on electricity. A regular stapler runs on, oh wait, it doesn't run on anything. It doesn't sit there sucking electricity from the outlet 24/7 like my shiny electric stapler. "facepalm"


Funny thing #1: Went home for lunch. Ate leftover fried mushrooms & a bell pepper from the garden & 1 mozzarella stick with a nice glass of Blood Orange Pomegranate tea. I was talking to the baby dog as she sat on the couch. She lifted her paw & put it on my mouth. LOL. Ok, ok, I'll shut up & go brush my teeth.

Absurd thing #3:

I find it absurd that people from other departments sitting at computers doing the same job as me, or a higher paying job, ask me to look up phone numbers for them. Why? Well, you see, if they are at a computer, and I am at a computer, then they can just go to the University homepage, like I'm going to have to do for them, and look up the person they are searching for in Peoplesoft. Instead of doing it for themselves though, they want me to. So, I have to put them on hold, go to Peoplesoft, type in the name, sometimes take them off hold to verify the spelling & dept. the person they are searching for is in, & get the number. All the while tying up me up from my work to do their work. I don't know why they do this. It seems very strange to me.

Rave #1: The guys from surplus that delivered the 11 desks & other assorted furniture in 105 degree heat were thorough & efficient. Kudos to them!


Irritating thing #1: The Snickers bar I just bought out of the vending machine was melty & smashed.

Well, all in all not too bad. 20 minutes of work to go. I'm making buttloads of copies right now. Sooooo Fun! (Sarcasm)

1 comment:

Chris said...

Those are great! I especially love Lela putting her paw on your mouth. Ha! Yap, yap, yap!

I also love it went people email me questions that can be found on Google in 2 seconds (because that's how I have to find the answer to your lame question). What, you have a computer, and Internet access, but you don't have access to Google?